[AnAmericanMother]

Ah, Good Old Ranger and Good Old Celtic up to their old tricks, as per usual. This sectarian rivalry disguised as football has been going on since at least the thirties to my knowledge. An old, old joke:

Midnight, on the Caledonian Bridge. A fellow is clinging to the girders. "Ah'm gaun ta jump!" he announces.

A crowd gathers, and a good Samaritan steps forward. "Dinna jump, man! Think o' yir family!"

"Ah hae nae family."

"Then think o' yir friends."

"Ah hae nae friends."

"Aweel, then - for the sake o' good old Ranger!"

"Ah dinna support Ranger."

The Samaritan hesitates, but a life is at stake, so he says,

"Weel, then, for the sake o' good old Celtic!"

"Ah dinna support Celtic."

"Awa' then, jump, ye bluidy atheist!"

[1rudeboy]

A season ticket holder for years, a man takes his regular seat at the Rangers-Celtic match. He looks to his left and notices that the there is a spare seat in between himself and the next season ticket holder.
“Who would ever miss a Ranger-Celtic match?” asked the man of his colleague.
“That was my wife’s seat," he replied. "We been coming together for years, but she passed away.”
“That’s terrible, I'm sorry," responded the first, "but couldn’t you get someone else to come with you? A member of the family or a friend?”
The second man replied, “No . . . they are all at the funeral.”

From BBC News:
Rangers manager Dick Advocaat was caught speeding in Glasgow. The Dutchman was doing 56mph in a 30 zone. He is reported as being very upset about the £60 fine but at the same time delighted with the three points.

[Mrs. Don-o]

Great joke!

Reminds me of another one. A guy is pulled into the alley in Belfast. His assailant, with his hands in a strangle-hold around the guy's throat from behind, snarls, "Protestant or Catholic?"

Thinking fast, the guy chokes out, "I'm Jewish!"

The assailant exclaims, "I can't believe my luck! Allahu Akbar!"