"Hey, you know, for the benefit of all the former muslims out there in the world, I thought I'd take this opportunity to announce that you no longer need to fear that phony god allah or that a$$hole psychopath phony prophet momahhed you used to worry about, I just took care of both of them yesterday and they won't bother anybody any more.At the same time, I am announcing a worldwide ban on the form of devil worship formerly called Islam, and I am announcing that anybody caught practicing that form of devil worship henceforth will be put to death and buried according to the tradition established by General Jack Pershing of the US army, i.e. in a box with the remains of a pig, and that all former slammite mosques will be required to have a Christian cross or a star of David over them beginning two hours from now, or they will become bombing targets.
Former slammites will be pleased to know that there will be no program of rounding them up and deporting them since the ban is worldwide and not just within the United States, and anybody wishing to get hanged for devil worship can do it here or there just as easily."