[Axhandle]

What a fish story.

[kinoxi]

This stinks

[Roccus]

The saga continues....

PING!!!

[xrp]

[maggief]

(L-R) Mexican fishermen Jesus Vidana Lopez, 27, Salvador Ordonez, 37 holding his Bible, and Lucio Rendon, 27 sit on their boat upon arriving in Majuro. After drifting across the Pacific Ocean for almost 10 months, staving off death by eating raw birds and fish, three Mexican fishermen have been returned to dry land with a harrowing tale of survival on the high seas(AFP/Suzanne Murphy)



Mexican fishermen Jesus Vidana Lopez, 27 (R), Salvador Ordonez, 37 (L), and Lucio Rendon, 27 (2nd-L) with an unidentified crew member upon arriving in Majuro. After drifting across the Pacific Ocean for almost 10 months, staving off death by eating raw birds and fish, three Mexican fishermen have been returned to dry land with a harrowing tale of survival on the high seas(AFP/Suzanne Murphy)

[BadAndy]

They also confessed to killing Jon Benet Ramsey.

[FDNYRHEROES]

Three Mexicans drifting on an open ocean that Americans refuse to drift on? That sounds plausible...

[Mr Ramsbotham]

That's juan fishy story.

[metesky]

Two of the boat party died and were thrown overboard during the ordeal.

Throwing protein overboard? Not hardly...

[China Clipper]

Two of the boat party died and were thrown overboard during the ordeal. Mr Ordonez said

Hmm, now THAT sounds fishy in of itself. Five men, nine months... Hmmm, I'm gonna guess that those guys who were thrown overboard MAY have provided, ah, shall we say, "a very excellent repast" for the others before they hit Davey Jones locker...

[Libertarian444]

http://www.serve.com/bonzai/monty/

*Sound of small boat creaking; seagulls in the background*

*Moans of pain; coughing*

Commander: "Still no sign of land. How long is it?"
Thompson: "That's a rather personal question, sir!"
Commander: (whispering) "You stupid git! I meant how long is it we've been in the lifeboat! You've destroyed the atmosphere now."
Thompson: (whispering) "I'm sorry!"
Commander: (whispering) "Shut up! We'll start again."

*More moans of pain; more coughing*

Commander: "Still no sign of land. How long is it?"
Seaman 1: "Thirty-three days, sir."
Commander: "Thirty-three days!"
Seaman 1: "We can't go on much longer..."
Thompson: (whispering) "I don't think I destroyed the atmosphere then."
Commander: (whispering) "Shut up!"
Thompson: (whispering) "Well, I don't think I did."
Commander: (whispering) "Of course you did!-- Shut up! Shut UP!"

*Again, moans of pain; coughing*

Commander: "Still no sign of land! How long is it?"
Seaman 1: "Thirty-three days, sir."
Seaman 2: "--Have we started again? --ow!" (yelps as officer hits him)


*Yet AGAIN, moans; coughing*

Commander: "*STILL* no sign of land!! How long is it?"
Seaman 1: "Thirty-three days, sir."
Commander: "Thirty-three days!"
Seaman 1: "We can't go on much longer, sir. We haven't eaten since the fifth day."
Seaman 2: (panicking) "We're done for, we're done for!"
Commander: "Shut up, Maudlin! We've just got to keep hoping... SOMEONE may find us..."
Seaman 3: "How're we feeling, Captain?"
Captain: "Not... too good. I feel so week..."
Commander: "We can't hold out much longer..."
Captain: "Listen-- chaps... there's still a chance. I'm... done for, I've got a gammy leg and I'm going fast, I'll never get through, but-- some of you might. So-- you'd better eat me."
Commander: "EAT you, sir?!?"
Captain: "Yes... EAT me."
Thompson: "Eyeeah! With a gammy leg?!?"
Captain: "You needn't eat the leg, Thompson! There's still plenty of good meat! Look at that arm!"
Seaman 2: "It's not just the leg, sir..."
Captain: "What do you mean?"
Seaman 2: "Well, sir... it's just that--"
Captain: "Why don't you want to eat me?!"
Seaman 2: "I'd rather eat Johnson, sir!"
Seaman 1: "So would I, sir."
Captain: "I see..."
Johnson: "Well, that's settled then. Everyone's going to eat me!"
Commander: "Well, uh..."
Seaman 2: "What, sir?"
Commander: "Oh, go ahead please, but I won't..."
Johnson: "Oh, nonsense sir, you're starving -- tuck in!"
Commander: "Oh, no no, it's not that..."
Thompson: "What's the matter with Johnson, sir?"
Commander: "Well, he's not Kosher."
Seaman 2: "That depends how we kill 'im, sir."
Commander: "Yes, that's true... but to be perfectly frank, I prefer my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges!"
Hodges: "Oh! Well, alright!"
Seaman 2: "I still prefer Johnson."
Captain: "I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me."
Hodges: "Look, I tell you what. Those who want to can eat Johnson, and you, sir, can have my leg, and we'll make some stock from the Captain, and then we'll have Johnson cold for supper!"
All: "Ooh, very good!"
"Good idea..."
"Yes, excellent thinking!"
"I guess we could have Hodges... in the morning..."

*Telephone ringing*

*click*

"Hello! As a naval officer, I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism! It is well-known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the R.A.F. who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argyles ate in Aden? Arabs?

"Yours, etcetera, Captain B.J. Smelling,
"In a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic."

*CLICK!*