I hold doors for anyone, and have all my adult life, and never once encountered a poor response. I lived in nyc also. I really have to wonder about the guys who get this response (maybe they did something obnoxious, unintentionally) and the ultra sensitive women (who I have to confess, I have never had one reacted negatively to holding a door or offering a seat on a train).
I love guys with good manners, and I'm always grateful.