Posted on 08/13/2006 8:55:07 PM PDT by Huntress
HAD Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills sat down at the kitchen table and made a pact to strip Charles and Diana of the prize for messiest divorce since the reign of Henry VIII, they could not have contrived so much unpleasantness. Last week the couple, who passed the buck for their break-up to the media, were doing their utmost to ensure breaking stories about the intercepting of royal phone messages and the uncovering of a plot to wage terror on a scale exceeding 9/11 did not oust their misery from the news pages.
And what lengths they had to go to. Not only did they indulge in acts of sabotage - such as changing the locks on the former marital home (a photographer was, of course, on hand to capture Heather's humiliation) and hiring the hot-shot lawyer who won Princess Diana her £17m settlement (a fact that came out when Mills was spotted with a folder bearing the name of the legal firm Mishcon de Reya nestling nonchalantly on her lap).
It is a drama being played out at the expense of their two-year-old daughter Beatrice, who appears to be shunted from one parent to the other by scary-looking bodyguards in an attempt to keep the warring factions apart.
Meanwhile, as figures are bandied about (the cost of their lawyers, £500 an hour each; Sir Paul's fortune, £825m, Heather's potential share £200m), the main players look thinner, older and more miserable with every "snatched" photograph that appears in the tabloids.
Indeed, the bitterness and rancour that seeps from the pages is enough to put you off marriage forever. But such a response would be hasty: because marriage - particularly when conducted in the absence of PR managers - appears to be good for you. Not only does it make you happier and richer (married couples accumulate and manage money much better than those living alone or even co-habiting), it also prolongs your life.
Last week, a new study - carried out by doctors from the University of California - found those who had never been married were 58% more likely to have died during the eight-year period of the study than their peers who were married and still living with their spouses, while bachelors aged between 19 and 44 were twice as likely to die as married men of the same age. For the younger age group the primary causes of death among those who had never married were infectious diseases and "external" factors, while the middle-aged and elderly tended to succumb to heart disease and long-term illness.
It sounds like a piece of conservative propaganda, but it is research borne out by previous studies which have demonstrated, among other things, that married people are considerably less likely to be physically abused, and are up to 17% more likely to be cured of certain cancers.
So what is it about marriage that makes it so therapeutic? Not the petty rows over whose turn it is to do the ironing or the Friday nights spent in the company of Jonathan Ross, surely.
Is it possible that Heather Mills put her finger on why marriage increases longevity at precisely the same moment as she rejected hers? "Paul became boring after the wedding," she is said to have whinged, citing his preference for spending time at his 160-acre estate in Sussex while she enjoyed a party lifestyle in London.
Well, perhaps he did, and perhaps she should have thanked him for it. Sure, life as part of a married couple can be predictable and humdrum at times, but stability and companionship is clearly good for our physical and emotional wellbeing. Where singletons may skip dinner for the third time in a week and head off to a nightclub in search of a soulmate, or sit in worrying about dying alone and being eaten by their Alsatians, married couples are more likely to chat at the dinner table about their respective days before turning in for an early night. They share the burden of keeping their homes secure, making sure bills get paid - tasks that might otherwise get overlooked - and encourage each other to go to the doctor when they're feeling ill. On top of that, experts say, being married widens your network of friends and reduces the risk of "social isolation".
Of course, when it comes to marriage, Sir Paul has previous. We all know - presumably because we have been told so often - that he only spent a handful of nights away from Linda throughout their 30-year union. In their spare time they rode horses, sheared sheep, tended their garden and enjoyed Sunday morning drives in the country.
It's easy to mock this vision of a pastoral idyll as a poor substitute for the rock'n'roll life. But consider Sir Paul's tribute to Linda after her death in 1998. Describing his chaotic, drugged-up existence before he met her, he wrote: "Linda would say: 'Let's cool it down.' She started to put some sense back into my life. She put some order into it." It is not much of an exaggeration, then, to say the relationship saved his life.
So Sir Paul has little need of a lecture on the merits of a solid marriage. But what about a good divorce, or - if that's impossible - at least a semi-civilised one? What should the couple do to avoid being swallowed up by their own self-absorption? Well for a start, they should take a leaf out of Tommy Sheridan's book and dump their lawyers. It's not rocket science. Lawyers are paid to get the best financial settlement, not to take the sting out of already traumatic proceedings. A fractious and protracted battle is in their interests, and - particularly when they're internationally famous - they have records for success to uphold.
And perhaps the couple could stop obsessing over figures. It's hard when newspapers are indulging in a frenzy of speculation over how the fortune will be divided up. But once you get past the £20m mark, it's not really about money, it's about power. To spend £500 an hour (that's £100,000 for 25 working days) to secure funds you don't need suggests perspectives have been lost. Instead, they should try to remember they have a daughter together - a daughter who will be better served by parents who get on well enough to get together to celebrate a birthday or a graduation, than ones prepared to surrender their dignity for a million or two either way, and look towards mediation.
When the going gets tough, Sir Paul and Heather may take comfort in the notion that the long-term impact of their divorce on their well-being might not be disastrous: unlike its predecessors, the University of California survey suggests the benefits of once having tied the knot endure far beyond its severing, with those who are bereaved or divorced faring much better in the health stakes than those who have never been married at all.
And for the rest of us, especially those trying to put the spark back into a jaded relationship, the survey holds an important lesson too. Married life is often frustrating and sometimes tedious, but like eating your greens, or jogging every morning, investing in it can pay dividends in the long-term.
I would take the 50 million and shut up, but she was a professional woman before she went legit. Doubtless she learned to drive a bargain in her professional life.
I feel more sorry for the child. Her daddy will either be deceased or an invalid (most likely, don't flame me) by the time she graduates high school, and her mom will always be known as a gold-digging wench.
Either way, sad for her.
She must have her own money hungry boyfriend on the side who is planning to do her the same way.
THe peg-legged witch should shut up and stay home. What goes around comes around.
I feel bad for Paul as well...but there's a lesson to be learned from all of it..IF YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY HATES YOUR GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND...there's probably a very good reason for it.
Yeh..gotta feel for Paul McCartney....he had a great marriage with Linda until her death. This Heather Mills is pure B$tch and gold digger....hope she gets a pittance of a judgement.
Ping for later reference.
Somehow, I don't really feel too bad for the little girl. Paul's family will make sure she's well taken care of, physically and financially. His children all seem to be good people.
Boy. Amen to that one Hildy.
Mark
Eastman's family is the reason Paul is as wealthy as he is. They advised him very well. He and Linda were perfectly suited for each other. People were surprised that he married so soon. I wasn't. Happily married men tend to marry quickly, because, obviously, they like being married. I think he thought she was a younger, slightly more attractive version of Linda. She was an activist, like Linda, etc...he wanted her to be Linda. But she ain't no Linda...she's a one-legged whore. But she'll be a very rich one-legged whore.
I am far from knowing anything about Paul or his kids (even though I feel free to call him Paul ;o)) but I'm sure having strong parental units helped them out growing up in a crazy environment.
I just hope they can all be civil for her (child's) sake.
I don't know much about his kids besides Stella, who is a very, very successful clothes designer. However, I did read they were all successful working people..which says alot considering they probably never have to work a day in their lives. He brought them up on that Farm and kept them far away from the crazy celebrity lifestyle.
I've been married for 15 years, many have been married longer. In sickness or in health to death do us part,these are words my wife and I take seriously. (thank G-d my wife does).
I don't really feel bad for either party in this situation, because my Wife has stood beside me in my darkest times. She has supported me through some of my lowest times, hurricane katrina included.
If they want to have a divorce fest, let them at it. I'm blessed to have a Wife , that puts up with with me . I am not a billionaire, I have little, and I still have a great Woman who stands with me.
She is not an attractive character. He should have had a pre-nup. He was probably too much in mourning to think he needed one.
Geeze....I don't know you or your wife but that post made me get all weepy.....:)
God bless the both of you, sir.
Thirty-seven years for us. Lost two children from a rare disease. Our surviving child is very successful and has a great family. I looked at my high school reunion website today. A lot of us have passed away already. Now my wife and I think about that a lot more, especially since two good friends have died recently.
Marriage is tough at times, but nothing else is as satisfying in the long run.
Very sad state of affairs. Paul should have known better and, yes, I think he thought he was getting his Linda back. Heather was/is a parasite and he is well rid of her. No matter what it costs.
REBOUND! Poor Paul didn't know about that, I guess. Maybe he'll wait a while for the next one.
One with two legs and no baggage.
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