Posted on 08/10/2006 4:13:23 PM PDT by Fishtalk
Below is a little missive I ripped out just as soon as I heard about MS. Magazine’s attempts to recruit abortion supporters by asking them to supply their names and their stories.
In a fit, an absolute fit of pique, I typed up my own abortion story. Then I saved it on the hard drive and pondered all week how to deal with my narrative of anger and angst.
I don’t want to put it on my own Blog as frankly-MS. Magazine doesn’t realize this-I am certainly not at all proud of my story.
Yet I wonder if the millions of women (yes, I bet there are that many) who had abortions REALLY told their story, well I wonder if MS. Magazine would be so damn smug with itself on this cause they champion so proudly.
Abortion is NEVER a happy thing, no mind the harpies who brought us this so-called “constitutional right”.
I also pondered the consequences of both identifying myself AND the male player in my sordid tale. I don’t want to get sued.
Still considering and steaming with a message that I desperately want to share, I think of submitting it to one of the online Blogs and punditry sites. But I get concerned. It might not be something they want to post and then I would have gone and identified myself to complete strangers for nothing.
So I decided to post my story in its entirety right here on FreeRepublic. Understand I am scared senseless to do this as I am a right regular poster on this site and really don’t want to be judged harshly.
Then again, when a story sits and boils inside, well it keeps boiling inside.
Below is my own abortion story in response to MS. Magazine’s request. Anyone may link to this post if it is deemed worthy. Someday I might get brave enough to post it on my Blog. If I’m lucky maybe no one will see this story and hey, I still worry about the guy involved in all this. No I didn’t put his name but he’ll know it’s him. Just hope I don’t get sued.
Understand also that this happened to me thirty years ago. Yes indeed, yon ladies and gems, I was a fresh young thing. Roe versus Wade had just been decided. I was bright, happening and intelligent. I was a liberated woman.
Now let MS. Magazine know how a woman feels deep into mid-life when past deeds are re-visited and thought processes change.
Do you think I should send my abortion story to them?
Do You Really Want to Know About My Abortion?
"Ms. Magazine's latest pro-abortion message invites women and girls who have undergone the procedure to submit their names for inclusion in the magazine and sign an online petition stating that "I have had an abortion."The petition targets the recent South Dakota abortion ban, which has been stayed until voters in the state decide on the November ballot whether they want to overturn the ban."
So this missive passes over my Internet-surfing monitor and I pause.
Ms. Magazine. Once upon a time I subscribed to Ms. Magazine. Was a subscriber for over ten years. Once upon a time I was a women's libber of the highest order. Once upon a time I had an abortion and now is the time for me to step right up, be a "manly man" about it, and tell my story.
Ms. Magazine is not going to like it all.
In my pause I ponder publicly identifying myself. For as the article in the link indicates, women are very reluctant to admit beyond girlfriend confidences that they have had an abortion. Although Ms. Magazine and the feminists behind it truly want women to be proud of that which they have managed to gain for the females of this nation: that of abortion on demand. Once upon a time I thought this was a very neat thing. It was 1976, a mere five years after the Supreme Court invented the new abortion right that they somehow saw in our constitution. I was a fresh 25 years of age, divorced and heartbroken after my childhood sweetheart and husband left me. I had a very good job, my own home, was three years into college, night school and it was tough, and not at all unattractive in that manner of 25 year old females. Hey, I was happening, hip, cool and all that the feminists should have adored.
Next I must ponder, seriously, telling my story in any public fashion for fear of identifying the male involved in this abortion. Not that I know if he can do anything about it, like sue me or anything. And not that I've laid eyeballs on him for almost 30 years, but if he should read the story, he will know it is him. Though I won't give his name, I'm not going to be kind to him at all.
So I will identify myself via a link to my Blog. I will not post this to my Blog but I will show some courage because, well Ms. Magazine wants me to and I can't let down Gloria Steinham, who was part and parcel of my own abortion experience.
His name was Gregory (NOT!) and he came into my life when my life had finally settled down after my sad divorce. I had a house, a result of my divorce settlement. Gregory had a job with a government contractor which paid well. We were both college educated, free, monetarily secure and we talked of a future together. We often talked of our future children, which Gregory would refer to as "little Yegory" in a play on his name. I knew what I wanted: a happy marriage, perhaps two children, my college degree and a good job. Gregory knew what I wanted as I often told him. What I wanted was fairly typical of females my age although it was archaic to admit it in that era of raging feminism.
It's no mind how on earth I got pregnant because birth control pills were widely available. I don't know why I didn't use them but I did use some form of birth control. Which didn't work.
Because I was young and had no children as of yet, I wasn't paying attention to such as cycles. At some point the pregnancy advanced beyond the first trimester before even my naïve self got a clue. We didn't have pregnancy tests that could bought in the grocery thus it was a way bigger deal to check a possible pregnancy test than it is today.
There was little time. On Wednesday I found out I was pregnant and on the following Friday I had an abortion.
Gregory, sweet thing, had arranged the whole thing. As I recall, earlier that week Gregory told me to please don't call him at work with the pregnancy test results and I told him I wouldn't. It would "upset" him. As I recall, when I got the results from the doctor I called Gregory right up and told him because why should only I know? Goes to Gregory's character.
My company-paid health insurance covered the abortion but there was a $200 deductible. Which Gregory paid out his own pocket, driving over fifty miles to the hospital that would be doing the abortion because they wouldn't even schedule a room until the deductible was paid. Goodness Gregory even spent the night at my house the night before the abortion (no, we didn't live together) as he was "concerned" for me.
Come the Friday, Gregory helped me to the car and drove steadily and purposefully to the abortion clinic.
Why did Gregory and I choose to have an abortion? Frankly, I have no idea. I do know that when something so monumental happens and there is only a space of two days to make a decision, common sense and morality sometimes goes out the window. I also know that Gregory suggested the abortion because he wasn't "ready" and as my young self saw it, I didn't want to have a baby with a man of age 35 who wasn't "ready". Had I more time to think about it, had Gregory not jumped through every hoop on the planet to facilitate all this, had the abortion clinic not been in such a hurry for as it was they were pushing the limit with my abortion then well beyond the first trimester, had any or all of these things changed in terms of the timing, I don't think I would have had that abortion.
Which does not matter, frankly, because Gregory and I are both murderers and it isn't easy admitting you're a murderer. To add to the intrigue, Gregory was a dyed-in-the-wool Conservative, was even a member of the John Birch society. He regularly ranted about politics, liberals and the coming domination of the Communists. I was, a sweet, young and dewy-eyed thing, a liberal. This was during the era of Richard Nixon. I brazenly put a bumper sticker on my car that read "Don't Blame Me, I Didn't Vote For Him". Gregory ripped the bumper sticker off of my car, my car! Right in my own driveway in front of my own house!
We fought about politics all the time-I the liberal, he the "manly man" conservative. I urge anyone reading this to visit my Blog as this is not meant as a slam against male conservatives. I am much older now, and much wiser. Gregory was no manly-man and now I truly understand the definition of the term.
The man killed his own child.
Gloria Steinham and Ms Magazine aren't going to like this at all.
After the abortion, which was so painful that I suffered physically for almost a month afterward, Gregory and I continued to see each other but not for long. I threw Gregory over the bow just as soon as I could because, hey, he was a creep and a hypocrite. At some point we've all been there and done that.
I am quite sure that Gregory has never been married because, well that was the whole problem as any discerning reader, especially female readers, could see way up in this missive. To his "credit", I suppose, Gregory did have quite the mental breakdown after that abortion and begged me to forgive him. While I, in the meantime, waited until an appropriate amount of time then I dumped him. He threatened to kill himself. He called my co-workers and begged them to put me on the phone. Finally I had to call his parents and ask them to please go over there and deal with Gregory. I was nice about it and everything but Gregory was out of my life and it was my legal right to decide this.
As for me, I went on to get married and I did have a daughter. A daughter who would not be here if it were not for that abortion. Had I not had that abortion I would have been giving birth to Gregory's baby around the time my daughter was conceived. I've often justified that abortion by rationalizing that one child was lost but another child was born that wouldn't have been.
What a crock.
Hey, Ms. Magazine...that's my abortion story. If you really cared about the females you purportedly represent, you'd have ensured that pregnant women considering an abortion would have a required length of time before actually undergoing the procedure. If you really cared about the females you represent, you would have set term limits and prevented women like me from aborting a child that might well have survived outside the womb. If you really cared about the females you represent, you'd have demanded counseling and care for women like me who have Gregorys behind the scenes and pulling the strings. Gregory likes Ms. Magazine, however.
I changed fate, God's plan, and murdered a baby. While I might be tough on Gregory, I admit my part in the crime. I can't change it and for sure I will pay some eternal price for it after my death. Not to mention the hurt and pain I suffer when I ponder what that little life would have been had it not had two of the most selfish parents on the planet.
It's not nice. Not nice at all.
That's my abortion story.
First of all, if the raped woman is married and/or sexually active, she doesn't necessarily know that the pregnancy was the product of a rape.
I know a white woman who was assaulted and raped by a black man in a parking garage, who became pregnant. She and her husband struggled over whether to get an abortionn, and after much anguishing and prayer, decided not to, but rather to give birth and then place the child for adoption.
When she gave birth they realized that it wasn't the "product" (abhorrent term) of the rapist, but was their own child: she and her husband had apparently conceived, unbeknownst to them, sometime in the two weeks prior to the rape. Of course they did not go through with the adoption plan: they were just thankful they hadn't inadvertently dismembered the child begotten in the security of their wedded love.
Which brings up my second point: if the woman doesn't feel she can raise the child herself, she can place it in the loving arms of an adoptive couple who will.
And my third point: these conceived childen are not "the rapist's" any more than they are "ours," in the sense of property that we can dispose of as we see fit. They belong to themselves. They belong to the future. They belong, if you like, to God. Do you really believe that women (or men) who are really, really emotionally upset are therefore at liberty to kill their children?
That is what any girl or woman pregnant by rape should know. She has already been traumatized by a despicable act of violence of which she was a victim. If we respect her, we will not set her up for a second act of violence in which she would be the perpetrator: an act immeasurably more damaging to her emotional, intellectual and moral integrity.
DId you say, prolong the child's ordeal? If not "prolong", then what... cut the child to pieces?
By what principle is it acceptable to kill a child for the crime of his father?
Cordially,
That wasn't the scenario I was suggesting. A child with her life in front of her raped by some beasts in Harlem.
..men who were caught up in the thinking of the 60's, 70's...and helped or encouraged their women to abort their own chidlren.
I don't think a man can quite experience the mind numbing pain & loss that it is to a woman.....
..but I do think there are men who came to realize ...in later years...what they did or let their women do....
..and know in their hearts they were part of this killing of their own flesh and blood.
I believe there are hurting men out there too....
..and many of them have found redemption and forgiveness...through repentence.
The child who was raped.
..but if they are truly Christian, they will not be calling anyone a 'baby killer'....
...unless it's George Tiller, who gets a perverse pleasure in aborting babies in the 2nd and 3rd trimester....and has for over 20 years, in Wichita, Kansas.
I'm glad you are honest. I will certainly not subscribe to Ms. Magazine (I'm a guy, so why would I be interested in that anyhow?), and if I ever get a girlfriend, I'll advise her to do likewise.
Many people automatically make the assumption that abortion is compassionate for the pregnant girl or woman in a rape-pregnancy situation. I beg you to consider that this may not be the case.
I have a friend who performed a series of abortions on girls at a Pediatric Hospital in the South Bronx in the early 70's when abortion was legal in NY but illegal in most of the rest of the country. My friend (Consuelo) believed that since the circumstances for these pregnancies were traumatic (forcible or statutory rape), the abortions would be therapeutic. What she found was that disturbingly, it's not that simple.
The outcome for the girls who got abortions was not empirically better than for girls in the same circumstances who did NOT get abortions.
These findings were counter-intuitive for Consuelo, to say the least. It seemed incredible. But this is what kept coming up: The younger the rape victim, the more she tended to identify with the baby. ("If the baby would be better off dead, maybe I would be better off dead.") The worst emotional damage from the rape was seen when the victim felt (irrationally) guilty. Abortion exacerbated the girl's sense of personal guilt.
Moreover, pregnancy seemed to extend the time during which people were focusing "tender loving care" on the girl. Abortion tended to make the girls' "sympathizers" lose interest. ("We fixed it. It's over. Now shut up and move on.")
Abortion worsened the girls' self esteem (they went from "my body is something that turns on pervs" to "my body is a place where babies die.")
Researcher David Reardon found some of the same complicated stuff going on with post-rape abortion. I found that reading more about it deepened my understanding and (I hope) my compassion.
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/about_elliot.asp
Scroll down this page about 9/10 of the way, to find the part about rape, incest, and abortion.
I am convinced that abortion in the case of rape is unjust, because it fails to give protection to one of the blameless parties, the baby. But I would say that it fails as an act of compassion, as well.
Childbirth under difficult circumstances can restore and strengthen a girl's self-esteem: "I am not bad, or filthy, or weak. I am life-giving! Despite what was done to me, I have the strength to do the right thing!" No abortion can ever give her that.
She's not amputating an arm or a leg. It is an individual life, with its very own unique DNA, that happens to be within her. It is not her body.
You have some strange views on property rights but I'll probably bow out here before the religies lynch me.
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Property rights??? Are you serious or stupid or just madly trying to justify your pro-abortion stance? I'd love for you to clarify what I've quoted. I sure hope I am misunderstanding you.
You go, Girl!!
We need brave women to stand up to the women who tell us we have to destroy our very womanhood in order to have everything that a man can have. (That goal and their idea of the means toward that goal just show a lack of imagination and inner resources.)
Thanks!
" Askel is not. Most posters here seem to be women."
One female here.
It isn't her body..she gets to keep it after her baby loses hers.
Most people wouldn't call me a Christian; I welcome religious expression even if I don't agree 100%. Religious freedom is being attacked from so many sides now.
Check this thread out for a personal story:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1682147/posts
A FReeper's Story of Her Abortion and the Aftermath
BOOOOOO!!!!!
As a person who is the result of rape....I can't agree with your position though I do understand the emotion behind the thought.
I found my biomother in 2003 and spoke to her exactly 2 years to the day before she died. While it was hard for her to have had me find her, and no doubt it brought back stressful and painful memories, at the same time, by her own words, it meant everything to her to hear me tell her how courageous she was and how grateful I am for her sacrifice and the opportunity to have a great life.
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