Posted on 08/09/2006 1:27:14 AM PDT by CarrotAndStick
LONDON: Parents who pressure their children to succeed are condemning a generation of middle-class youngsters to stress and depression, it has been claimed.
American psychologist Madeline Levine has identified a growing breed of ‘helicopter’ parents, so-called because they hover over all aspects of their children’s lives.
These high-earning parents push their children so hard to excel at everything from math and English to sport and music that they leave them feeling hopeless failures. Youngsters grow up miserable and confused after falling short of their parents’ unrealistic expectations.
Levine, a clinical psychologist and mother of three, claims in her book The Price of Privilege that children from affluent homes are three times more likely to suffer depression and anxiety than the average teenager.
They are also at greater risk of resorting to drug abuse, self-harming and even suicide. Levine says the struggle to please over-ambitious parents lies at the heart of many of these problems. She blames high-achieving parents, especially those earning at least £60,000, for piling on too much pressure to succeed.
“The most dangerous feelings a child can have are of self-hatred , yet middle-class parents are unwittingly instilling those feelings by expecting so much,’’ she said. The ‘helicopter’ parent insists on meddling in every area of their child’s life, for example by going into school to challenge a teacher about a mark their child has received.
But they are actually hampering their children’s development by denying them opportunities to deal with difficult situations. “Kids aren’t having the experiences that are mandatory for healthy child development-- a period of time to be left alone, to figure out who you are, to experiment with different things, to fail, and to develop a repertoire of responses to challenge,’’ Levine said.
Thank God for experts!
"Kids aren’t having the experiences that are mandatory for healthy child development-- a period of time to be left alone, to figure out who you are, to experiment with different things, to fail, and to develop a repertoire of responses to challenge,’’ Levine said."
Dude, the 60's are like so over.
Pushing your child to excel is a good thing. But hovering over every single second of their lives, the kind of over-regimentation we see in the stereotypical "soccer mom" nowadays, that's not a good thing. Kids need time to be kids, to play the way THEY want to play, to explore. They don't need every single second of their lives scheduled from the time they're three years old!
}:-)4
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