Government schools in your community are likely age segregated. They are herded about like sheep to a timer. Children ride buses to and from them. Their school day is 6 or more hours long. After being confined for most of their waking day, they still have homework.
In government schools in your community there are alpha girls and bullies flying under the teacher's radar. Your children, if not actively involved or complicit in the the alpha girl emotional shredding or physical bullying, were witnesses to this abuse. As you stated, they were witnesses to fights. You have stated that parties with drugs were openly discussed. I am certain that after seeing and hearing this this they felt less safe both physically and emotionally.
What can I say about the "socialization" where parties with drugs are openly discussed and children come from a home with a mother with a "potty mouth"?
As Dr. Laura has pointed out all the high grades, or "AP" courses in the world are no substitute for morality, and I would add, physical and emotional safety.
While your girls are survivors, I can only wonder about the children are not the survivors. What about those children who are not in the AP courses and are now known to be in the stupid courses? What about their sense of self-esteem? What about the kids who weren't able to swim through the toxic waste of potty mouth, fights, and parties with drugs?
To those parents with children who weren't the survivors, who are drowning in the the toxic waste, I would say to them that their children would have been better off being homeschooled. To those parents whose children seem to be surviving, I would say that their children would have been better off not witnessing the destruction of human potential.
So my girls, while sitting at the lunch room table, heard about parties where drugs were used--so what? They both read the paper and hear about much worse going on. They make their choices and they take ownership of them. Neither were ever offered drugs, alcohol or cigarettes in school. They were offered these when in a part time job at one time or another. Both turned them down. Their moral character came through when they needed it. They learned this from home.
As far as the fights, I overspoke. Both told me within the last hour that they never actually saw a fight, they only heard of two that happened in another section of the building. The only fight they ever witnessed was at Kings Dominion when we were there on a family trip years ago. My bad.
As far as bullying, nope, neither were interested in that. They would both be considered "gamma" girls. I taught them from very young to be themselves, not worry about being popular and let peer pressure roll off their backs. If they saw bullying, I don't think it affected them overmuch as they are sweet girls who make an effort to include others into their conversations when at church gatherings or other social settings.
Neither has ever felt an unsafe moment at their high school, bus stop, bus ride, or at any school sponsored event. That is 100% 0 times. Their school is safe.
And what about those not in AP or gifted courses? What about them? Their parents made different choices than I did. I don't sit in judgement on them. What about those that didn't come from a background where their parents took them to church and raised them with a moral core--again what about them? Their parents made their own choices. I don't judge them.
Face it, there are kids that come out of the public school system every day that are upstanding citizens. There are disasters that come out of homeschooling situations. (Just this spring 2 homeschooled kids killed the parents of another--remember that one) There is a range on both sides, but the parents are more important than the school and have far more influence.