Here's how Mel Gibson can make amends

The Talmud famously says that a man is known in three ways. What he says when he is drunk, what he says when he is angry, and what he spends his money on. On all three counts, it appears that Mel Gibson has sadly shown his true colours.

Upon getting arrested for drunk driving, in his inebriated state, he allegedly said something to the effect that "f---ing Jews are responsible for all the world's wars." In his anger, he asked the arresting deputy if he himself was Jewish. And, of course, he spent $25 million (U.S.) of his own money arguing that the Jews killed Jesus. Well, there you have it. Drink, anger, and money all lead Gibson to alleged acts of anti-Semitism.

Those of us who strongly opposed The Passion of the Christ as defamatory of Jews should feel no sense of vindication now that Gibson has shown what he really thinks of Jews. On the contrary, this story is a tragedy all around. Who would have thought that in Hollywood of all places there could be personalities so filled with Jew-hatred? The tragedy is compounded by the fact that Gibson largely established his career in the role of a white detective who has the warmest possible relationship with his black partner in the Lethal Weapon movies. Turns out that all along good ol' Mel was a bigot.

Not that we should have been all that surprised, given the Holocaust-denying remarks Mel's father has always made publicly, with Mel saying in his defence, "My father never lied to me."

Still, there are a number of things to be learned from this sad event. First, all those who defended The Passion of the Christ as a benign movie about the death of Jesus ought to do some real soul-searching. This defamatory movie repeated the oldest and most destructive lie ever told, that the Jews killed god. Millions of Jews throughout history have been murdered over this lie. And yet, when a modern movie appeared portraying the Jews as bloodthirsty and desperate to see a dead Jesus, it became one of the biggest box office successes of all time.

Worse, so many of our evangelical brothers and sisters promoted the movie as a modern Christian triumph. Churches that normally love and support Israel rushed to show the movie to their flocks, as if doing so were a sacrament. They defended Gibson especially as having made a film that promoted Christianity rather than defamed Jews.

I hope that they will now reconsider their attitude toward the film and stop showing it at churches, as it perpetuates the stereotype of Jews as perfidious Judases.

Likewise, I especially hope that the many Jewish conservatives who defended Gibson and even heavily promoted the movie will rethink their support.

I debated many of my colleagues on television, including my friends Michael Medved and Rabbi Daniel Lapin. I hope they, too, will now reconsider their inexplicable action of highlighting a film that was a grotesque distortion of the true historical record of how Jesus died. I do not write these lines to gloat or say "I told you so."

I have deep respect for both Medved and Lapin and have probably been wrong about far more things than they. Rather, I write this because the idea that committed Jews could have become defenders of Gibson's big-screen hate fest was always a shock and caused a deep and unnecessary division in the Jewish community.

However, Mel Gibson has now twice apologized, and I am a great believer in apologies. So his apologies ought to be accepted, even though he was not courageous enough to apologize to the Jewish community directly. For those who would say that his apology was not even sincere, I would answer that apologies should not be examined as to their sincerity. Rather, if a man apologizes, he should be taken at his word.

I honestly hope that Gibson will find the healing that his body needs from alcoholism and that his soul needs from bigotry. I honestly hold no ill will toward him. He is clearly a troubled man. Why someone that successful would need to hate a whole group for no reason is something that we will probably never understand. And I pity him, just as I pity any man whose inexplicable hatred compromises his humanity.

Having said this, it is proper that Gibson's apology be coupled with action. He should make it up to the Jewish community by re-releasing The Passion of the Christ with an important disclaimer at the very beginning of the film detailing the undisputed historical fact that the Romans killed Jesus, and that any of the Jewish leadership, like Caiaphas the High Priest, who called for Jesus' death were all in the employ of Rome, and indeed served as the Roman police enforcers in Judea.

Because claiming to love Jesus and simultaneously hating Jews are deeply contradictory, since Jesus was not a Catholic or a Christian, but a Jew.

Finally, a word to Gibson: I have long been impressed by your devotion to your father, especially since he appears to have a screw loose. Even so, you stuck by him. But the Commandment that instructs us to honour our parents does not mean that we ought to honour their bigotry. On the contrary, we honour our parents by becoming better people than they and righting their wrongs.

Rabbi Boteach is a talk show host, the author of 15 books and a syndicated columnist.

Here's what Rabbi Lapin had to say:

Mel Gibson and Me by Rabbi Daniel Lapin
August 1, 2006

By now the whole world knows that the L.A. County Sheriff's Department reports that after being stopped for drunk driving early Friday morning, Mel Gibson, began yelling about the "blanking" Jews who start all the wars in the world.

Within a few hours Gibson publicly admitted that he had "...said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable. I am deeply ashamed of everything I said, and I apologize to anyone who I have offended."

Immediately thereafter, one of the self-anointed Jewish "leaders" proclaimed with breathtaking chutzpah, that Mel Gibson's apology is unremorseful and insufficient. "It's not a proper apology because it does not go to the essence of his bigotry and his anti-Semitism," he said. "We would hope that Hollywood now would realize the bigot in their midst and that they will distance themselves from this anti-Semite."

It is all too easy to join the circling hyenas and denounce Gibson while he is down. On the other hand, though he has provided some financial support to Toward Tradition, I don't feel obliged to leap to his defense. That is not the purpose behind my writing this column. The purpose of my writing this account is to respond to the question of how recent events have impacted my views of the man and his work. It is also to place a gentle restraining hand upon the shoulder of those in the Jewish community making yet another mistake.

There really are anti-Semites in this world of ours right now who not only wish to destroy all Jews but are doing all within their powers to bring that about. Does the name Mahmoud Ahmadinejad suggest anything? Does it really make a lot of sense to treat Mel Gibson as a threat to Jews anywhere?

As for the remarks Gibson made while intoxicated, ancient Jewish wisdom informs us that one way we can know what a person is really like is by how he behaves when he is drunk. From this we can safely assume that Mel Gibson doesn't think much of Jews.

However there is another nugget of ancient Jewish wisdom emphasizing that we owe atonement for that which lies in our hearts, only to God. If I have an unworthy thought in my heart about you, I need to make good with God but I don't owe you an apology unless I act upon that thought. We humans are morally obliged to make good to other people only for those things we do, and not for any thoughts we have in our minds.

Let us address his apology. I have no way of knowing what is in Mel Gibson's heart but I do know that he has no need to act obsequiously towards Jews or curry favor with us. If Gibson never makes another film he will still be able to buy gas for his Lexus. He is not a politician trying to win an election after an imprudent remark, like Georgia State Rep. Billy McKinney, who blamed "J-E-W-S" after his daughter, U.S. Rep. Cynthia McKinney, was defeated in a congressional primary in 2002.

By the way there was virtually no Jewish criticism of that remark for which there was little apology and which was not made while Billy was drunk. More cynical observers than I suggest it might have something to do with the McKinneys being Democrats.

The same explanation could probably be advanced for why Marlon Brando's infamous outburst on Larry King Live, about the "kikes" running Hollywood also received pretty much of a free pass. And Brando was sober.

Film maker and Democratic propagandist, Michael Moore has made the most preposterous statements about Israel for which he has never apologized and for which the Jewish community has never criticized him. For instance he has identified Israel as one of the epicenters of evil in the world, and he has explained how "..Arabs came up with the idea that Americans are supporting Israel in its oppression of the Palestinian people when a Palestinian child looked up in the air and saw an American Apache helicopter firing a missile into his baby sister's bedroom just before she was blown into a hundred bits."

Yet, Gibson publicly apologized and the Jewish response was so beyond ungracious that one must ask what exactly would Gibson have had to do or say in order to win Jewish absolution? Furthermore one would have to ask why would any rampant bigot even bother to do this? I haven't heard any apologies from Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

The next question is what impact do recent events have on what I wrote about the movie, The Passion, back in February 2004. Let's see what I wrote then in my article entitled "Why Mel Owes One to The Jews" and which appears on the Toward Tradition website.

Weeks before its release, I made four predictions about The Passion. Here they are:

One, Mel Gibson and Icon Productions will make a great deal of money. (I was right.)

Two, The Passion will become famous as one of the most serious and substantive Biblical movies ever made.(I was right.)

My third prediction was that the faith of millions of Christians would become more fervent as The Passion uplifts and inspires them. (I was right.)

My fourth prediction was that there would be no anti-Semitic incidents perpetrated by those exiting the theater after viewing The Passion. (I was right. In fact every poll revealed an increase in philo-Semitic feeling among viewers of The Passion.)

I also explained that those Jewish organizations that have squandered both time and money futilely protesting The Passion, ostensibly in order to prevent pogroms in Pittsburgh, can hardly be proud of their performance. They failed at everything they attempted. They were hoping to ruin Gibson rather than enrich him. They were hoping to suppress The Passion rather than promote it. Finally, they were hoping to help Jews rather than harm them.

Nothing I wrote then about The Passion has changed.

This incident helps me explain why I am on record as opposing hate crime legislation. It is time for all Americans and particularly American Jews to grow up and recognize that you cannot force anyone to love or even like anyone else. You cannot force people to love Jews, Christians, women, men, blacks, white, handicapped people or people who drive red cars.

We most definitely can and must insist on lawful behavior and we must demand respectful interaction. However we must stop pretending we can police people's thoughts. I know of nobody who would be willing to be hooked up to a machine that would disclose his innermost thoughts to the world.

If Mr. Gibson really does hate Jews as his drunken diatribe might indicate, his behavior towards the many Jews he knows has always been nothing but cordial and respectful. He has never supported (as have too many Jews) Palestinian causes and other organizations that encourage the murder of Jews. Amazingly Mel Gibson has utterly resisted the natural human temptation to snap back at the so called "Jewish Establishment" for its vicious assaults on The Passion.

He deserves censure for being drunk and for the anti-Semitic remarks. But he already knows that which is why he apologized. A balanced and reasonable view would be that if indeed he really does hate Jews, then he deserves respect for his self control when not drunk.

I would rather be surrounded by people who hate me in their heart but whose conduct toward me and my property is exemplary than by people who love me in their hearts but who kill my cat, kick my kids, and key my car. I would be very happy to switch today's dangerous Moslems Jew-haters for Moslems who hate me only in their hearts but who act toward Jews with nobility and kindness.

My question for Jews, especially the heads of the alphabet organizations is this: "Which is more likely to lead to increased affection and respect for Jews everywhere? Recognizing that human prejudices exist and working respectfully and amicably to change people's minds and hearts, or grabbing headlines by strident accusations full of self righteousness and intolerance?" I believe that most people know the right answer.

Rabbi Daniel Lapin, President of Toward Tradition, explores these issues in greater depth in his book America’s Real War.

Toward Tradition is America's leading bridge-builder between Jewish and Christian communities; spanning the divide between Christians and Jews by sculpting ancient solutions to modern problems in areas of family, faith, and fortune.

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