Your objection to electrons on moral grounds is duly noted.
"The folks making these goofy arguments are presuming far too much about things they really don't have a clue about yet"...."
Your point is well made.
I don't have anything against electrons. Far from it. If they weren't exactly the way they are, none of us would be here posting this stuff. The charge on the electron is one of the most fundamental things in nature. All other charges are just integral multiples of it.
There are other quantities in physics which could not have significantly different values either--or else the universe would be completely inhospitable. Just ask a physicist.