[LWalk18]

Why they have them is beyond me.

Because if she didn't have children, she would hear how selfish she was for not having children, how childless couples aren't real adults, how having children will instantly change her heart, etc. Instead, she had done her adult "duty", and her two sons will grow up scarred for life.

Some people are not cut out to be parents, period. When they are pressured to become parents, this is what happens.

[ChildOfThe60s]

When they are pressured to become parents, this is what happens.

Some are pressured. But I disagree that most are. I think that most have no clue what parenting is. What children are. They have children the way most of us buy cars. It's more a matter of thoughtless egocentrism.

[Warren_Piece]

Some people are not cut out to be parents, period. When they are pressured to become parents, this is what happens.

These words have a strain of defensiveness that tells me you're speaking from experience. I agree, although I'll add the caveat that there are *SOME* people who have kids as a kind of fashion accessory, not because of some external pressure. Then they get bored wiht them like they do their Gucci bags.

Also, there are two type of pressure:

1) Parents and in-laws wanting grandchildren. This is perfectly legitimate, and if the adult child can't handle this legitimate rite of passage, they have other issues.

2)Strangers who, for some reason, are insecure about their own choice to have children. These people are aghast that someone could choose a different path from them and still not be *selfish* . These people need to be told to buzz off.

[pollyannaish]

Actually, I have no problem with people not having children. If you made that choice, more power to you. You will find much in life fulfilling.

HOWEVER, I will tell you that choice means that you can not stand around and criticize how others bring up their children. People without children can be absolutely breathtakingly arrogant regarding childrearing. It's actually funny, because I was there once.

Trust me, I was a much better parent before I actually had children. I knew everything there was to know about raising them. And then I had one and got reasonably good at it. Then I had the second one, completely different, and some days I just stand there and hope it all turns out ok.

I respect your choice completely. Just don't tell me how to do my job. I think that is pretty fair. BTW, my kids are very well behaved, but it doesn't make the job any easier.