I think there's a kernel of truth in the article. I don't think you do kids any good by hovering over them and showering them with consant attention and gifts. There's a huge amount of pressure to conform to tv notions of being a good dad and mom and much of that pressure is stupid. So what you get is a lot of parents trying to be good tv parents and ignoring stuff like discipline and self-sufficiency because that makes bad tv.
We work hard to make our son independent. And that means going places by himself. It also means having to entertain himself when dad is busy. We try to be there when we are with him but expect him to do a lot on his own and be able to entertain himself, no matter how much drama goes on about being bored.
I think this is related to the bizarre extent of kids birthdays today. What's wrong with having the family and a few friends over for cake and ice cream? What's all this ponies and swimming parties and Jungle Quest stuff for four year olds. I mean, it's fun but my son has already planned his next three birthdays and what fabulous and expensive events will occur. (as you can see, my wife doesn't agree that we make way too much of kids birthdays.)
My parents never went to one of my baseball games and I got over it. In fact, at the time, I didn't even notice--being much more interested in other kids. All this cr@p in the movies about kids crying because dad, again, doesn't show up for Meaningful Event A had nothing to do with my life when I was a kid. As long as I could get to MEANINGFUL EVENT A, I was happy and my parent's job was done. Of course, having seen the movies, the kids now know to use this particular issue for emotional manipulation. But when I was growing up, it was a complete non-issue.
One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from my mom, just before my son was born. She told me that kids live in your house, not the other way around.
One other point in this somewhat scattered post. How can she find kids uninteresting? That I don't understand. That is sad because the kid will figure that out. We have a ball with our boy.
Now you've done it. :-)
I REALLY agree about the birthday part. I think there's a fine line between teaching your kids self-reliance, and neglecting them.
I'm pretty sure you've started what will be a first-class flame war!
While I was incredibly interested in my son's sporting events, I was expressly forbidden to attend.
When he was in the state tennis championships, I had to wear a wig and lurk.
I think my presence put more pressure on him.
And I agree about the over-the-top birthday parties. I had huge parties for my kids but there was no entertainment except playing and cake.
Also, I think the sob stuff about parents not attending recitals and stuff (that you see on tv) is overdone. Kids know if their parents care and are interested. They might be mildly disappointed if you couldn't make some event, but it wouldn't be shattering to them.
I completely agree with you. But this was about motivation. Yours is correct.