This is a common discourse. and has been through thousands of years of human history.
Er, why the hell should you not be rude to them, given that they were extremely rude to you?
Common questions - that have been common questions across cultures and throughout time are not extreme anything.
Civility, like peace, can only be preserved if aggression is met with a firm and devastating response.
Prickling with offense at a manufactured slight does not meet the definition of civility.
Just like theft, murder, tyranny, superstition,....