Posted on 07/22/2006 6:03:00 PM PDT by NYer
You sure know how to pick 'em!
;o)
Well, this balances the "Me/Me/Me" crowd who have children they can't afford to support and dump on the rest of society. :-(
If it's true that we don't "own" our children ~ and I believe it is ~
then we can trust that their Owner will provide them and us with
all the right ideas we need to succeed.
We adore each other (usually!), and our children.
So glad we've stayed together.
It's been worth the sacrifices.
Our favorite joke:
A couple in their 90's walks into a law office, seeking a divorce.
The lawyer asks, why, after all this time?
They reply, "We've just been waiting for the kids to die."
Some people should never have children...like my parents.
I survived them somehow, and resolved never ever to hear myself say to a young human the things my parents said to me. I don't regret the decision, and don't feel anything is "missing" from my life.
As for myself, I cannot wait until the day when my husband and I can have children. We fit into the category of the couples that are married for a while before having kids. But we still do want children, just not until we get our lives to a more stable place.
Considering the price of housing and cost of living in the Bay Area generally, I wouldn't call it the most family-friendly place in the country.
Show a little pity. After all, these parents are at war against the world.
I'm fond of these non-parent couples, but I did chuckle when I spent a little time with one couple who were having trouble with one of their dogs being a little snappish to the wife, a dog who had "bonded" heavily with the husband. They sounded so much like parents struggling with a moody and intractable teenager playing one parent off against the other.
There are tradeoffs. Couples without children devote a lot of attention to the other--this is a nice thing to see. Sometimes couples with kids forget how to do that.
True, and also people had lots of kids because many more were likely to die as babies and children.
It was a world without antibiotics, only vague notions of hygiene, and an environment generally hostile to children. It wasn't like the TV show Little House on the Prairie where children only got blinded during "sweeps week," they were pretty much maimed and killed all year round.
"The family structure will need to change. The nuclear family can't be sustained for much longer by many, many people. Look for a return to multi-generational extended families."
I think you're right on that. The economic cost of starting a household is just too steep for young couples. It makes sense for other reasons as well; in-house care of children and elderly family members, shared values, etc.
Another not so positive trend (and I'm hardly in a position to criticize) is an increasing number of people simply deciding not to have children.
"Drop in at any large store, walk around and observe kids in or near the toy department or in the checkout lanes screaming, demanding, whining... What you see might well cause you to take an oath never to procreate!"
That's a good point. Y'know, it's like the old saying: we're all ambassadors. I do notice the incredible lack of discipline that parents exercise over their children. I can't say I'm "scared" of children as a result, but it does give you pause.
Then again, I also notice parents who do an incredibly good job with their kids. They keep them in line, don't let them run around like little savages, etc. Unfortunately, those parents do seem to be in the minority.
People just assume that it's just a "values issue," but that only takes it so far. It's also a question of making the most efficient use of resources -- personal resources, such as housing, money, time, etc.
Think of how people use the resources in an elevator. They will arrange themselves, without a plan, in a symmetrical fashion to create the most "personal space" in an environment with limited resources. Same holds true for families.
Real Prince Charming, you are.
"I just don't believe we are getting low on kids. Go to any Walmart during the day. They are full of pregnant women , with usually one or two in the baskets."
What you're seeing is a subsection of the population. Wal-Mart has very low prices and thus tends to attract families of relatively modest means. A lot of people, myself included, don't shop at Wal-Mart much.
Also keep in mind that for the population to remain stable, not even to increase, each couple needs to have at least two children on average.
My first wife ballooned up to about 200 - no respect and I was embarressed to even go out in public with her.
A very common, though rarely stated, attitude by men. Women reflect on a man's worth. A beautiful woman is seen to be "worth more." This cuts right to the heart of the thing, so it's mostly avoided in polite conversation.
While most men will swear up and down that they will still love and find their wives attractive if they put on weight, the honesty of this comment holds true for very few men.
It depends on the individuals, but yeah. Also, aside from the whole "personal appeal" thing, over-weight folks are more or less viewed as "lower class." Weight issues, as they are called, imply lack of discipline, laziness and poor diet because of either lack of education or funds to purchase healthy foods.
I can understand your feelings. But throughout history every generation has thought that it was the best there was, and that the world was going to go to heck after them. Somehow the world kept moving.
Kids are hard, and it takes patience and sacrifice to raise them. Many today do not have those qualities. Sounds like you both realize that you might not, and have chosen to not have kids.
I can't imagine anything worse in old age than to have no family. There was a woman in our area who lived to be well over 100. She had never married and was an only child. When asked about her life she candidly said that everyone she had ever been close to was long dead and she worried that no one would remember her when she was dead.
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