STILLWELL: Politics and Relationships: Strange Bedfellows?

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 7/19/6 | Cinnamon Stillwell

[SmithL]

The terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, may have united America as a nation, however briefly, but they also sharpened the political differences between many of its citizens.

As someone whose politics went from left to right as a direct result of Sept. 11, I experienced firsthand the sort of upheaval political disparities, newfound or otherwise, can have on personal relationships. My oldest friends and I have been able to salvage our friendships, even if voluntary silence on political matters is necessary at times. But it was that most intimate of personal relationships -- marriage -- that unfortunately fell prey to the emerging divisions in the country.

When it comes to romantic relationships, political differences take on an emotional character that can make them more damaging. While it is often said that politics and religion are topics to avoid in light conversation, it might behoove those in the dating world to take a closer look at those supposedly taboo subjects. One may think politics is simply an ephemeral matter, but it actually touches on our deepest held beliefs.

Politics and relationships tend to follow one of several models:

* Both people are completely apolitical, in which case political distinctions are essentially a non-issue.

* One person is highly political, while the other is basically apolitical and content to support the other partner's interests. This can be a winning formula, for the apolitical partner provides some balance to what could otherwise be a rather obsessive pursuit.

* Both people are highly political and share the same beliefs. This is fairly sure to succeed, although political burnout could be a problem.

* Both people are highly political but in opposite directions. This scenario, for obvious reasons, is the most problematic of the bunch.

[SmithL]

Seen the Light Ping

[aligncare]

When the missus voted for Clinton, after initially expressing skepticism about his character and doubting his sincerity during the campaign - well, that put some distance between us and strained our relationship. (We're better now - it's all good!).

[AmericanChef]

Politics is only a symptom of deeper beliefs and values. When I finally abandoned the last of my former liberal thinking, I realized how shallow my former friends and associates were, and how often they cause their own problems. They're OK to have a drink with or watch a movie if I don't want to use my brain for a while, but I never talk about anything of serious value with them.

[Neoliberalnot]

I generally avoid libs as anything but acquaintances. They are not trustworthy and most will sell you out to higher authorities. Without liberals totalitarian governments would never exist.