They hire a stud service, Mr. Turk E. Baster.
It's time for - - -
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Announcer: In today’s episode of Gay Divorce Court, a lesbian couple from San Francisco, California comes before Judge Yolanda Sans Spermatozoa to put an end to their six month marriage amid allegations of mental cruelty, false imprisonment and emotional distress.
Marie Ball-Bustier has filed for divorce from her long time lover and short time spouse, Vaginitia Lackluster, claiming among other things that Ms. Lackluster has tried to impregnate her against her will and has taken to locking her in the car on family outings. Let’s now join the court as Judge Sans Spermatozoa solicits testimony in this emotional case.
Marie: Your honor, I’m a feminist/lesbian and I object to any intrusion into my bodily orifices because of my conviction that all heterosexual behavior is rape perpetrated by a patreo/judaeo/christo/mohammedo/capitalo societal framework embossed onto our collective consciousness by Republicans and their archetypical co-religionists.
So you can imagine my surprise when Vaginitia attempted to impregnate me with a commercial grade turkey baster and the sperm of a man whom I consider to be a psycho-historical revisionist.
Vaginitia: Your honor, for years I complied with Marie’s wishes concerning her physical apprehensions but now that we’re married I feel that I have a right to offspring. Since Marie’s my wife, I feel it’s her obligation to give me children…
Marie: I’m NOT the wife!
Vaginitia: You’re the wife…
Marie: NOT!!
Judge Sans Spermatozoa: Womyn, please! Since this is a new area of the law and we’re just making it up anyway, I feel that I have the discretionary latitude to assign roles in these matters. Ms. Ball-Bustier, you’re the wife…
Marie: NOT!!
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