Not having had any children, I can’t speak directly about post-partum depression but I did have infertility treatments that included several months of birth control pills – hormones (to regulate and balance my cycle) followed by infertility drugs – more hormones. Hormones have powerful effects both physically and mentally.
During treatment, one day my husband came home and I very calmly told him I felt like destroying something, breaking dishes or punching a hole in the wall then I told him I felt like killing something, a bug, a mouse, something, anything….think PMS on steroids.
I truly did not feel like myself. I wasn’t angry at any person or at any one thing but everything in general and nothing at all – I just felt like destroying something. I felt some kind of unspecific, undirected rage that I never felt before or since - thank goodness. It passed but it scared the hell out of both of us.
If I’d acted out in any manner, I should have been held accountable as Andrea Yates should be – nothing is an ascuse for what she did to her children but to a much lesser extent, I can understand the loss of reason and control.
But like you, I’d like to know the husband’s contribution, role and accountability for this. He knew her problems after the 4th child and yet impregnated her a 5th time (bad judgment on his part) and then didn’t even see fit to supervisor her, not leave her alone with the children or follow up to make sure she got the help she needed knowing her history of suicide attempts and depression. Perhaps he is not accountable for the murders but he is at least guilty of being oblivious to the obvious.
As for the husband, I don't know what to say. The term "clueless" seems appropriate.
Rusty Yates did not help this woman by continuously impregnating her. If he needed sex, he should have used birth control. When he was interviewed on tv, he appeared to be intelligent and well-groomed. Didn't he notice his wife had "filthy hair" and was acting like a mental patient? The murder was shocking. This woman can never be let out. It's too bad the husband was such a self-obsessed jerk. (IMO)
But like you, I’d like to know the husband’s contribution, role and accountability for this. He knew her problems after the 4th child and yet impregnated her a 5th time (bad judgment on his part)
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That's right, when a man does something terrible its his fault and lets fry him, when a woman does something terrible its what was the MANS role in this? Just put the victim tag on her. I would suggest that her getting pregnant was wrong, however he didn't rape her. Perhaps living with the fact that his 5 kids are dead is enough. There is no evidence that he ignored her problems, in fact she was committed several times, his mother had to come over and sit with her, however he had to go to work to support his family. While not a smart move on his part, forcing her to get pregnant (sarcasm on), She murdered his kids. Some guys would have left her when she was found to have a gopher loose in her garden. His role, he did the best he could do. Quit looking to blame him for something he didn't do. If the shoe was on the other foot, no one would ask what she did to cause her husband to kill the kids.
Many people feel that way about many things-- a rotten boss, getting off drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes, talking to liberals. Actually killing is a different thing altogether.
I had the urge to kill (from parenting teenagers) and asked my husband to take me to a shoot-em-up war movie. By the end of it all of my anger had dissipated.