You said:
"...Our kids are a different matter. Jobs aren't plentiful in this area. And to afford housing, both people have to work..."
Well, if "jobs aren't plentiful", why don't they move to where jobs ARE plentiful?
There are certainly lots of good jobs in NYC for the well-educated and/or well-motivated.
A friend's daughter is a 27-year-old MBA, whose annual compensation exceeds $150,000. Funny thing. She seems to have no problem paying the "sky-high" rent on her Manhattan apartment.
Go figure...
NYC? No.