Posted on 07/01/2006 9:52:50 PM PDT by SmithL
The Three Stooges of slapstick comedy fame occasionally dabbled in politics, such as an episode called "Three Dark Horses." Here in Tennessee, it seems politicians occasionally dabble in slapstick, as illustrated in an episode of last week's U.S. Senate campaign.
The script opened with Harold Ford Jr., at a gathering of Tennessee Democrats, tossing a figurative pie into GOP faces. He likened the current Republican U.S. Senate candidates to the Three Stooges.
Ford, assured of winning the Democratic nomination without being elbowed and gouged during a primary campaign, refused to identify which candidate represents which Stooge character in his comparison.
"You'll have to figure that out yourself," he said. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck. Wink.
Careful figuring, with the help of amused and unreliable sources, reveals Ford was talking about Moe/Bob Corker, Larry/Ed Bryant and Curly/Van Hilleary.
A bit of recollection is in order here. Remember that, in the 1994 Republican U.S. Senate primary, the half dozen candidates were known as "the six pack."
Corker, who was one of them, called Bill Frist's campaign manager a convicted slanderer. He also issued a joke news release declaring that Garfield, the cartoon character cat, had withdrawn support from Frist after learning Frist had killed cats in experiments as a medical student.
Frist's campaign manager called Corker "the Chattanooga boo-hoo." Also "pond scum."
Corker thus found himself in a rather Moe-like situation, trying to control the situation but getting whomped upside the head. Frist won the election.
Among the Stooges, Larry is the mild-mannered fellow, Curly the activist. Among the GOP Senate wannabes, Bryant is the guy who complains about Hilleary pounding his fist on the table. Hilleary calls himself a fighter while labeling Bryant a nice guy who is just not assertive enough. That is, Bryant is Larry-like, Hilleary more Curlyesque?
After Ford called them collectively the Three Stooges, the three GOP guys were incensed. But first out of the box was state Republican Chairman Bob Davis, also known as RepubliBob. His Democratic counterpart is Bob Tuke, also known as DemoBob, who also entered the fray.
RepubliBob, by the way, has recently been sending out costumed characters - Trooper Bear and Phantom - to harass Democrats. Chortle.
DemoBob, meanwhile, has dispatched an aging costumed character called Titular Head to harass Republicans - especially Moe/Bob. A real knee-slapper.
Against this backdrop of high-brow, intellectual debate, RepubliBob indignantly declared Ford's Three Stooges remark an all-time low in campaign rhetoric.
He further denounced Ford for name-calling, then called Ford names - notably an immature and insulting character assassin. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.
He also demanded an apology. Ford ignored RepubliBob, naturally, but told reporters that he will continue the Three Stooges routine.
Not to be outdone, DemoBob chimed in, lamenting that RepubliBob had lost his sense of humor "after enduring months of Republican candidates trashing each other and accusing each other of misdeeds ranging from lying to fraud to criminal behavior."
"Actually, I was the first to compare this behavior to Curly, Moe and Larry, and I stand by it. Just as the Three Stooges comically abuse one another with nonsense, the three Republican Stooges have failed to address serious issues affecting all Tennesseans," he said.
In other words, copycat Ford had stolen his line. Oops. He may have bonked Ford while bashing at RepubliBob.
The accused Stooges took a brief respite from tossing mud balls at each other to flail at Ford. He's showing immaturity, said Bryant. He's dropping dialog to the level of a joke, said Hilleary.
"I guess these career politicians from Washington enjoy name-calling," said Corker, implying, perhaps, that former U.S. Reps. Bryant and Hilleary, along with current U.S. Rep. Ford, are the three career politician stooges.
Well, Ford responded on a TV show, the Republican behavior also "reminds me of kindergarten." So, there!
And so on.
All of which raises the question of whether the four major Senate candidates - come to think of it, there was a fourth Stooge, Shemp, back in the series history - have been adequately addressing the issues.
The answer, as Curly would say: "Soitainly."
Of course, Larry/Ed and Curly/Van are always flinging things, rhetorically speaking, at Moe/Bob. The three get into a wrestling match over who is the most conservative and, next thing you know, words such as "fraud" and "hypocrite" are flying through the air toward Moe/Bob.
Not to mention "liberal" and "moderate." Or even that he's just like "Fancy Ford," as Republicans enjoy calling the Democratic candidate. The real Three Stooges were always down on anything fancy.
Republican senatorial campaign discourse, Ford said, has "been beneath the dignity, intellect and aspirations of voters all across this state. And, until they raise it, I'll keep saying" the GOP guys are the Three Stooges. Woo, woo, woo!
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