Anything in life is a challenge. Finding time and money to get master's degree when one has children is a challenge. Being very sick and not having sick leave or anyone to help out is a challenge. Life is a challenge. Yet, people don't kill others, because they are confronting a challenge. Unless of course they are murders.
I am sorry to hear you have had adversity in your life. I am sure you and your children are stronger today because of it and won't fall into the same hole, because you no longer see yourselves as victims, but proactive beings that have and make choices. Good for you. I am sure your children are stronger having seen you live with a problem and get yourself out of it in a proactive way.
Life is adversity and they will see this and that one can deal with adversity sanely, reasonably, morally and in dignified, gracious manner. That is a good mother that prepares her children in this way. Teaching them to blame and be victims, not so much. Child abuse as far as I am concerned. Sets them up to pick partners that support that world view and continues the cycle--they either become the 'abused' or 'abuser'.
No, straightforward does not confuse me, however sometimes the government just isn't there to help out. Maybe you can't tell extended family, because of shame, or because you're afraid they might be targeted as well. I didn't tell anyone what was going on for 19 yrs. Life certainly is a challenge, to put it mildly. You can usually get through it without killing someone. Some folks just snap under the pressure, while others internalize the stress.
A lot of people have adversity in their lives, and not only overcome it, but excel despite it. Who knows. I developed some health problems because of the ongoing harassment, but I know there isn't anything I can do about it right now. It's very subtle. My bf has also become a target.
Funny you should mention setting up children to grow up and either become abused or abusers. It is completely true, unless there is an intervention early on. Children learn what they see, not what you tell them. My children have come away with the notion of doing the right thing makes you a sucker. Time for me to take care of myself. I wish there was a way for kids to learn about the life defining consequences of picking the wrong mate before they even start dating. It would do more good than learning how to put a condom on a banana.
Getting back to the topic, I heard on the news, that they were fighting over money, and she doesn't remember shooting him. This ought to be good.