Betrayal of trust (Coaches and Sexual Abuse)

Antonio DeJesus has no secrets left to hide, not behind prison bars and razor wire. He readily admits seducing three boys. They were kids who trusted him, who looked up to him -- until he molested them. DeJesus is now a convicted child sex predator. He used to be a youth baseball coach. He is one of at least 17 youth athletic coaches in North Jersey who have been arrested or sued since 1999 on sexual misconduct allegations, according to published reports and data from the Bergen and Passaic county prosecutors. The coaches' alleged offenses ranged from possession of child pornography to aggravated sexual assault.

Although most coaches would never molest their young athletes, experts agree the number of arrests nationwide is up significantly. "Judging by the amount of court cases and newspaper accounts, it's a frightening number," says Bob Shoop, a professor at Kansas State University and author of "Sexual Exploitation in Schools: How to Spot It and Stop It," published in 2003. "Some states have 20 to 30 cases going on at a time." Because coaches are typically among the most respected figures in the community, such misconduct often goes on undetected. And it can happen in any town, to any family.

Two Bergen County men who coached his teenage daughter in club soccer were arrested in recent years on charges of sexually molesting girls. Coonrad, second vice president of the Ramsey Soccer Association, says he had no idea either coach was a threat until their arrests made the news. "It makes you shaky. It scares you," he says. "It's stuff that you read about in the papers, but suddenly it's close. We're just very grateful that nothing ever happened to our kids."

Tim Zisa, a teacher who coached football and girls track at Wayne Hills, was arrested in May, accused by the Passaic County prosecutor of "sexual petting" with two of his three alleged victims -- in a school closet, a classroom and a trailer used by the track team. Investigators also say Zisa had consensual sex off school grounds with two students, both 18. He taught all three of the alleged victims and coached one of them. The incidents allegedly occurred in the 2004-05 school year.

Zisa was additionally charged with witness tampering for allegedly threatening one girl if she cooperated with authorities.

DeJesus, in the fifth year of a maximum 26-year sentence in the Adult Diagnostic and Treatment Center, the state's prison for sex offenders, met his victims through baseball. His first victim played on the Paterson Pony League team he coached. The two others were teammates of his son. "I lost everything I had," DeJesus wrote in recent correspondence with The Record from the sex offender prison in the Avenel section of Woodbridge. But that's just part of the story. "The damage and shame the young boys have or are going through," he acknowledges, will last the rest of their lives.

As alarming as the 17 cases are, they likely represent just a fraction of the abuse that occurs. Experts estimate that only 3 percent to 10 percent of all child sexual abuse cases are reported to authorities. Participation in organized sports among 6- to 18-year-olds nationwide has swelled to a range of 20 million to 30 million. The coaching ranks have grown alongside, rising to more than 3 million. Most of these coaches are largely unsupervised by youth league officials who say background checks are expensive and present legal pitfalls.

"They say they've never had a problem," Shoop says. "But they have no idea if they had a problem. They're not reported because the victims fear that they will not be believed or that there will be reprisal. That doesn't mean it hasn't happened.

"In the large number of cases that I've dealt with, when one person reported it ... many, many people come out and say, 'It happened to me, too.' "

"What's in my head, what he did, will never be erased," says T.D., a 49-year-old business owner who requested he be identified only by his initials. "This guy stole my childhood." T.D. was one of six plaintiffs who sued former River Dell soccer and wrestling coach John Buller for allegedly molesting them back in the 1970s, when most of them were eighth-graders. They also sued the River Dell Regional Board of Education. T.D.'s suit against the school board and River Dell schools remains pending, although his claims against Buller have been dismissed -- not on merit but for being filed too late.

Coaches are the second most common child sex offenders in schools after teachers, accounting for 15 percent of abuse, according to a 2004 U.S. Department of Education report. The report, a survey of previously reported information from government publications, academic research and newspapers and magazines in various states, noted that coaches were more likely to sexually abuse children than were principals, counselors, bus drivers, security guards or teacher's aides. In Washington State, the report said, teacher-coaches were three times more likely to be investigated for sexual offenses than non-coaching teachers. And in Texas, 25 percent of teachers disciplined for sexual misconduct from 1995 through 2003 were music teachers or coaches.

To a molester, youth athletics is opportunity with a capital "O." Beyond high school and middle school sports, there's Little League, town recreation leagues, CYO, AAU and club ball. It's a world where travel and hands-on instruction are not just common but expected. A world where no one questions the hours adults spend with children or the close emotional bonds formed. And it's a world where many parents blindly place their dreams -- and their children -- in the trust of others, hoping for college scholarships or the vicarious thrills of witnessing their offspring's athletic achievements.

"That is where the kids are and where they're spending a long amount of time," says Kenneth McNiel, a psychologist who has evaluated convicted sex offenders for the Adult Diagnostic and Treatment Center. There is no detailed profile of a child molester, no particular physical look. The vast majority are men, although in 2001, a female athletic trainer in Glen Rock had a six-month affair with a 16-year-old girl. Lois Weierstall served 21 months of a four-year sentence. But the stereotype of the sleazy man in a dirty raincoat skulking in the shadows is dangerously wrong. "People would have the same reaction: These guys seem normal. They seem like my neighbor," says Philip Witt, who was director of research at the Avenel center in the 1980s. "I do think that children look for that [stereotype], and it does make them more vulnerable."

Sexual predators seduce children much the way men and women seduce each other. It's called grooming. Sometimes it takes weeks, sometimes years. It often involves gifts, pornography and alcohol, anything that will strengthen the bond between molester and child and further isolate the child from others. Some molesters even groom parents, ingratiating themselves with families to earn easier access to their children.

"The child molester is going to select the child who is most vulnerable," says Joseph Del Russo, head of the sex crimes unit in the Passaic County Prosecutor's Office. "He's going to select the child who he can fill the need in. He's going to pick out the easy one -- the one who doesn't get the attention he needs, has low self-esteem. "And they know them when they see them."

Craig Maurizi says he was one of those kids. "It was a long, drawn-out, premeditated process, which I'm sure gratified him in some disgusting way because he had such control over my life," says Maurizi, who accused Richard Callaghan, his former figure skating coach, of sexually abusing him as a teen. Callaghan is not among the 17 North Jersey coaches whose relationships with teenagers prompted legal action. But Maurizi, now 43 and director of figure skating at the Ice House in Hackensack, says the coach is the perfect example of a child seducer. When Maurizi was a young teen, he says, his parents spent more time arguing than anything else. So he welcomed Callaghan's taking on the role of surrogate father, confidant and best friend. But Callaghan took advantage of that closeness, Maurizi says, giving this account: The sexual harassment began at 13. Touching and other inappropriate sexual conduct started two years later, the same year his parents divorced. That grew into a full sexual relationship when he was 18. Maurizi says he broke it off when he was in his early 20s. Still, he continued to work with Callaghan for 13 more years.

"The biggest thing about sexual abuse is the bizarre mental mind control or connection that the abuser has with the person he is abusing," he says. "Even at 37, I couldn't break it. Whenever I was around him, I felt like I was 12 years old." Maurizi says he felt like that for 25 years, first as Callaghan's pupil, then his coaching protege. It didn't change until he made formal complaints to the U.S. Figure Skating Association and the Professional Skaters Association in 1999, charging Callaghan with sexual misconduct and exploitation. Although Callaghan denied Maurizi's claims, the accusations rocked the figure skating world. Callaghan, one of the nation's most successful coaches, had tutored Nicole Bobek to a national title, Todd Eldredge to a world championship and Tara Lipinski to Olympic gold in 1998. Soon after, three other skaters claimed that Callaghan had taken advantage of them, too. But there also was fallout for Maurizi: Callaghan accused him of using the charges to tear away skaters from his former mentor.

The Professional Skaters rejected Maurizi's complaint for a "lack of clear and convincing evidence," while the U.S. Figure Skating Association said merely that he filed too late, beyond the allowed 60 days from the alleged abuse. But the USFSA did follow up with a formal sexual harassment policy and aggressive investigations of alleged sexual misconduct. Today, Maurizi remains troubled by the complex role Callaghan played -- one part father figure and best friend and one part tormentor. "The bond on an emotional level was there for years and years and years, even to this day on some level," he says. "Eighty percent of the things he did were actually good things. He was there when I needed him to be. "He was my father for those years. Even though he screwed me over so badly, he helped me. That's where the big emotional conflict is. In these cases, these people do good things for you. That keeps you on the hook."

Callaghan, who had retired just before the allegations were made public, resumed coaching soon after. He currently coaches at the Onyx-Suburban Skating Academy in Rochester, Mich., something proudly advertised on its Web site. Repeated calls to his attorney failed to yield contact information for Callaghan to comment for this article. "I thought the guy would do it to other people and no one else was going to do anything about it," Maurizi says. "I really wanted this guy to stop coaching and I thought he had been doing it long enough. "I probably had to wait until that age to handle it emotionally. It took me that long to have the guts."

At least 17 youth athletic coaches in North Jersey have been sued or arrested on sexual misconduct charges since 1999. The coaches' alleged offenses range from possession of child pornography to aggravated sexual assault:

Coach Where coached Accused of Outcome
Bashir "Billy" Baghdadi Manchester H.S. -- football, track, basketball Aggravated sexual contact Three years' probation
John Buller River Dell M.S., H.S. -- soccer, wrestling Sexual assault, by six plaintiffs Civil lawsuit pending
Jose Cruz St. Thomas More, Midland Park -- basketball St. Leo's School, Elmwood Park -- gym teacher St. Anne's School, Fair Lawn -- gym teacher Paramus Catholic -- volleyball Molesting nine girls Criminal trial begins Monday
Antonio DeJesus Paterson Pony League baseball Sexual assault, three boys 26 years in Avenel
John C. Evans Paramus Catholic -- soccer
Girls club soccer Rape, attempted rape of teenage girls Seven years in Avenel
Adam Feldman Park Ridge H.S. -- winter track Kissing, fondling three teens, Five years' probation, $7,700 fine
Andrew Friedman Kinnelon H.S. -- hockey Endangering welfare of child, Five years' probation
Glenn Ghilardi (not pictured) Little Ferry -- softball Endangering welfare of child Five years' probation
Keith Ildefonso Bergen County club soccer Sexual assault, two girls Criminal trial begins in October
John Johnson Youth coach in Paterson Sexual abuse, three girls 15 years in Avenel
Edward Kotwica Garfield H.S. associate athletic director Aggravated sexual contact Died before trial
Robert "Willie" Quinn Leonia H.S. athletic director Molesting one boyLifelong parole
Ron Skibin St. Joseph H.S. -- hockey Ordering child porn via Internet, Five years' probation
Gary Stayback River Vale youth sports Molesting six girls 30 years in Avenel
Omar Villanueva St. Elizabeth Seton School -- basketball Endangering welfare of child Five years' probation
Lois Weierstall Glen Rock H.S. trainer Sexual assault, 16-year-old girl Served 21 months of four-year sentence
Tim Zisa Wayne Hills H.S. -- football, girls track 2 counts endangering welfare of child, 3 counts official misconduct Grand jury to hear case this summer

Former Edison lacrosse coach gets 7 years for sex assaults

Deemed "repetitive and compulsive," a former Edison lacrosse coach was sentenced to seven years at the Adult Diagnostic and Treatment Center for sex offenders in Avenel for sexually preying on two members of teams he coached. David M. Prongay, 44, of Edison, was led away in handcuffs Tuesday after his sentencing in Superior Court, New Brunswick. He admitted in July to molesting a lacrosse player, who was either 13 or 14 at the time, from April 2008 until his arrest in February. He also acknowledged endangering a 15 year-old girl who played on the Edison Angels softball team between Sept. 1 and Dec. 1, 2002, by forcing himself on her.

Christie Bevacqua, assistant Middlesex County prosecutor, said the attack in 2002 occurred after Prongay offered the softball player a ride home. "He drove her behind a bar and attempted to force his tongue down her throat," then unzipped the girl's pants, Bevacqua said. The girl fought off his advances, Bevacqua said. Prongay then threw $500 at the girl and told her to go shopping with the money and give her mother the rest, Bevacqua said. The victim told Judge Frederick DeVesa of the aftermath of Prongay's attack. "After the physical, emotional and sexual abuse, he continued the emotional abuse by showing up at family functions," she said.

The young woman told DeVesa that she stopped seeing close family members for years because of his presence. "My family believes I just didn't want to see them," she said, fighting tears throughout her statement. Prongay sat with his tattooed arms folded, staring at the young woman as she spoke to DeVesa. Poised and articulate, the other victim, now 15, also told DeVesa of the emotional toll of Prongay's assaults. "'I thought it was just an intimate relationship," the victim said, a belief that was shattered in one night, when the victim divulged the assaults to a family member. "'It was manipulation and sexual advances ... I was 13, and Dave manipulated and took advantage of me. Dave is the one who is weak, a coward and a sick man."

The Home News Tribune is withholding additional details on the second victim and the victim's family because of privacy considerations. The family moved from Edison in the middle of the school year because of the assaults and news of Prongay's arrest, family members said. Prongay had helped the family out financially and was trusted to the point of being an emergency contact at school. "Let us always remember that this pedophile, David Prongay, committed these violent criminal actions against the people in our community," the victim's father said. Bevacqua said Prongay molested the lacrosse player for 10 months.

"He obviously lived a double life," Bevacqua told DeVesa. "He manipulated two families to get to their" children. Prongay, a general contractor, served for five years as a volunteer coach for the Edison Lightning, a lacrosse team for children in grades 7-8. Asked if he wished to speak, Prongay told DeVesa he had nothing to say. His attorney, Robert Gluck of New Brunswick, told DeVesa that Prongay has acknowledged he has a problem that he wanted to be treated as a sex offender. "Yes he committed a crime, but he is not a criminal," Gluck said."He's a good man in every way but one."

DeVesa said he received more than 30 letters from people with stories about how Prongay has helped them out financially and otherwise. Prongay was first arrested at his home Feb. 18 and charged with aggravated sexual assault and endangering the welfare of a child in the incident with the member of his lacrosse team. He faced up to 20 years in prison on the first charge had he been convicted at trial. He was arrested a second time in the endangering case on Feb. 24, initially charged with attempted aggravated sexual assault, aggravated criminal sexual contact and endangering the welfare of a child.

As part of a plea deal struck with the Middlesex County Prosecutor's Office, Prongay faced up to 10 years on the sexual assault charge and up to four years on the endangering charge, both to run at the same time. DeVesa said the Avenel treatment center allows sex offenders to remain there for no more than seven years. Prongay also will be a Megan's Law sex offender subject to community and parole supervision for life, meaning authorities will keep track of his whereabouts.

List of accused North Jersey coaches in sex abuse cases grows

When authorities this week accused an assistant coach at Park Ridge High School of sexually assaulting a student, it added to a growing roster of more than two dozen cases in North Jersey over the last three years in which teachers, coaches and school officials have been arrested or convicted on charges of sexual misconduct involving children in their care.

The arrest of John D. Rankin, who was charged Wednesday with sexual assault and endangering the welfare of a child, adds to “an alarming increase in the number of reported incidents,” said Bergen County Prosecutor John Molinelli. And with the new school year beginning next week in most districts, Molinelli said, “It’s a fair thing to say to educators: No matter how old the student may be, there is never an excuse for this and the consequences are serious.”

Rankin’s arrest is the second this year of a Park Ridge school employee accused of having an improper relationship with a student. A 27-year-old math teacher at the high school was accused in January of having sex with a student in her junior and senior year of high school. Since December, a dozen teachers or coaches statewide have made headlines for sexually related accusations. Among other instances, educators were accused of videotaping boys showering and of having sex with teens they were chaperoning on a field trip. In many recent cases, older female students have accused male coaches and teachers of sexual contact, Molinelli said.

To be fair, it’s just a fraction of the ranks of teachers and coaches who are accused of sexual misconduct. And state crime statistics don’t track how many coaches or teachers have been accused by their students or athletes. Yet by one measure, the number of teachers and administrators stripped of their licenses for sex-related offenses increased to 33 last year, up from 18 five years earlier, according to state statistics.

Molinelli said he has no answer for “why there’s been such an uptick in the number of these instances.” Teachers having sex with students isn’t a new phenomenon, so he suspects more students are reporting it, he said.

Rankin, of Woodcliff Lake, is an assistant track coach and an assistant bowling coach at Park Ridge, where he has been employed since 2009. The alleged sexual abuse began in 2009 when the girl was 16 and continued until she graduated, according to the Prosecutor’s Office, which did not release further details about the alleged crimes.

If convicted, Rankin faces a minimum sentence of five years in prison and will be registered as a Megan’s Law offender, Molinelli said. He was being held on $50,000 bail, officials said.

The age of consent in New Jersey is 16, but it doesn’t apply to teacher-student relationships, Molinelli said. Even if the student is 18 and legally an adult, the teacher or school official’s sexual involvement with a student or athlete is criminal, Molinelli said.

Noting the defendant’s age, Chief Assistant Passaic County Prosecutor Joseph Del Russo said: “It was fairly recently that he was a student himself. I can understand how a person that young would look at some of these students as peers rather than look at them through the student-teacher relationship. But it’s exploitive and it’s criminal.” Some experts say social media and texting allow for an easing of boundaries that were harder to breach years ago. “There is access that was unavailable as recently as 10 years ago,” Del Russo said.

That has led many districts, such as Fort Lee, to prohibit teachers from “friending” students on Facebook or sending personal emails, policies that will be stressed at upcoming teacher orientation, Superintendent Steven Engravalle said. Texting should be avoided, but can be used in emergencies, such as a coach canceling practice. All communication should pass a simple test — “If it’s not something you would want published on the front page of The New York Times, don’t do it,” Engravalle said.

Not only should teachers and school employees be alerted to policies to prevent abuse, but parents must also be educated on how to ensure that their children are safe, said Terri Miller, president of the national organization Stop Educator Sexual Abuse, Misconduct and Exploitation.

Parents should not allow children to use a computer in private. They should look for any changes in behavior such as dreading school or changes in sleep or eating habits. And they should make it clear that teachers have no business texting their child or sending emails via private systems, Miller said. “Starting a new school year is a great time to get parents onboard again to safeguard children,” Miller said

Rankin, who was not a teacher at the school, was the assistant coach for the spring track team, which is coed, and was the assistant bowling coach in the winter. He was not a coach for a fall team, so he had not begun working with athletes for the upcoming school year, said Robert Gamper, superintendent for the school district. Gamper said he would ask the school board at its September meeting to rescind Rankin’s appointments as assistant coach for both teams and to terminate his employment with the school district. Once high school administrators found out about the alleged abuse, they immediately informed police and the state, Gamper said.

Though school is yet not in session, counselors will be available today and Tuesday for students who want to talk, Gamper said. “I find this situation extremely disturbing, but it will not hinder our ability to open school with a high level of energy and enthusiasm,” he said.

Rankin had attended Park Ridge High and was a standout on the bowling and track teams. He graduated in 2006, Gamper said. He also works at Montvale Lanes at the bowling alley’s shoe rental counter, according to an employee who declined to give his name. The employee said he was surprised by the charges and declined to comment any further.

A woman who declined to give her name answered the door at Rankin’s former Park Ridge home Thursday. The woman said that Rankin lived there until recently. Hearing of the charges against Rankin, the woman said: “It’s very hard to believe. He seemed to be a very conscientious young man, a dedicated coach and student, completely aboveboard, honest, trustworthy.”

“It’s all alleged,” the woman said of the charges. “I have nothing but respect and good things to say about John.”

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