"But it is entirely rational, even prudent, to be clear about a preemptive nuclear strike on Iran if you and your family are living in Tel Aviv."
If you assume there will be no consequence, maybe. I see no reason to make that assumption.
There certainly is a consequence, and people seem to be blind to it.
The preemptive use of nuclear weapons is not in the best interest of any nation. A nuclear strike on Iran by Israel would likely lead to a world war. Any such nuclear strike could escalate into a conflict where millions of innocent people on both sides would die.
I think that the typical person has a difficult time comprehending the extent at which a nuclear weapon destroys. The Iranian people are not our enemies, but the Iranian government is. And yes, there is a big difference between the two.
If force is required to resolve the situation (which it likely will be), then it would be much better to use conventional weapons on strategic government targets than just obliterating Tehran with nuclear weapons.
If any nuclear action is taken by Israel, then it should be a formal acknowledgement of the existence of their alleged nuclear arsenal. This would clear up any doubt from their neighbors as to whether or not Israel had nuclear weapons, and it would immediately deter Iran and Israel's hostile neighbors from an attack (not that the prowess of the IDF doesn't already do that).