"Welcome, boys and girls, to the GourmetDan School of Everything! Here, we cover all subjects in one class. History, geography, astronomy, and every -ology you've ever heard of! How can we cram so much into one single class? Simple! Can you say IN-TER-PRE-TA-TION? I KNEW you could!
That's right! Everything that mankind *thinks* it knows is simply...you guessed it...interpretation of evidence. And ANYONE'S interpretation is as good as anyone else's! Using that fact, we've condensed hundreds of years of "knowledge" into a single, one-day course! Watch how easy this can be:
- History - America was actually founded in 4003 BC, the year after creation! You've heard otherwise? Interpretation!
- Geology - The Earth is hollow, with a crust made of aluminum! Think that's NOT the case? Interpretation!
- Astronomy - Our planet IS the center of the universe, and those little lights in the night sky are pinholes in the velvet blanket that surrounds us. How can that possibly be? Interpretation!
As you can see, learning is EASY at the GourmetDan School of Everything! When everything is relative, nothing is wrong! And when nothing is wrong, everything is right! Enroll now: you've already earned an 'A'!"