Well, as a woman, I'm thinking I'd need about 3 entire kegs worth of beer goggles to turn that guy into a sex symbol.
But as a 53 year old woman with green teeth, male pattern baldness and weighing at least 400lbs, as you profess to be, I would think you'd be greatful if any man, even a man who calls himself 'vagina' in Farsi, was willing to even be in your presence - perhaps I could arrange to have him visit you at your 666 address... ;^)