[Fido969]

I've seen both sides -- deadbeat dads skipping town to avoid support and I've seen greedy, vindictive women ruin their ex-husbands/boyfriends over child support and custody. My cousin (living in Kansas at the time) was dragged out of a meeting at work in handcuffs when his miserable ex-wife accused him of abusing their son. Presumably, he was exonerated of the charges, but his visits with his son had to be monitored by family social services. Really sad the lengths some people go to hurt each other...and the children are the ones who really suffer. The bitter divorce and child support/custody fight left my cousin and his son estranged for a long time. Now that the son is an adult, he and his father are finally starting to get along. But there is still a lot of residual damage and it's a question mark as to whether any of it will heal.

I went through a long bitter divorce with accusations and and a lot of harm to my kids. I am glad it is over, it is difficult to adequately describe to emotional strain of this process, and I can not say a single good thing about the many lawyers and court characters that were involved. I recently came across a picture of myself at the worst part of the case, and I looked like a concentration camp victim, I weighed seventy pounds less than I do now. People thought I had cancer or something. It was just day-to-day emotion stress.

You would be foolish to underestimate what people go through during this process, especially if there are false accusations involved.

I am happy to be single and free now, and work hard on my relationship with my kids. Yes, the truth came out eventually, but not until after a lot of irreversible damage had been done.

Oddly, I am doing so well now that I can say in retrospect, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. My children suffered, though, and continue to suffer as a result of the process. I have no sympathy for family court lawyers, judges, therapists, and the whole rest of the crew of leeches that lives by sucking the life blood, the very souls, out of our children.

Hmmm... I suppose posting this might make me, too, a "person of interest" in this case. Seems silly, though, I am just stating what about 5 million other people know to be a fact.

[LWalk18]

Oddly, I am doing so well now that I can say in retrospect, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. My children suffered, though, and continue to suffer as a result of the process. I have no sympathy for family court lawyers, judges, therapists, and the whole rest of the crew of leeches that lives by sucking the life blood, the very souls, out of our children.

What do people expect the courts to do when one or both parties choose to be hateful rather than work a settlement out for the sake of the children. Courts encourage parties to come up with a parenting agreement that will work for both parties. But if the parents refuse to work with each other, then there is little the courts can do but decide one way or another, often based on relatively little evidence other than the testimony of the parties.

As far as false allegations, judges walk a fine line. If the allegations of domestic violence or child abuse are false but are believed by a judge, he or she is blamed. If the allegations are true but not believed by a judge, and later a child is killed by the abusive parent, guess who also gets the blame. No one wants a dead child on their conscience, so they follow up on allegations if they are even semi-believable. Clearing up takes time and money, but lawyers, courts, psychiatrists, etc. all have to eat just like anyone else.

Family law trials almost always result in one or both parents being angry at the division. That's why most judges hate handling these cases, and prefer that the parties work something out themselves.