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I was watching some late night show that was discussing the amount of crap that remains in the colon of sick FAT people. The show claimed that Elvis Presley had about 40 pounds of fecal material stuck on the walls of his colon when he died. I wonder how many pounds of fecal matter that old Teddy has stuck in his Colon, maybe 150 to 250 pounds. It also stated as the colon becomes coated with fecal matter that the size of the colon can grow to an enormous size which is unhealthy and effects the brain.

I also wonder how big Teddy's Liver must be with the alcohol content of his bloodstream on a daily basis. I've heard that some drunks have livers that weigh up to 80 pounds from all the sugar in alcohol. Teddy is surely living a life of hell with all that weight and poor health habits. He belongs on the streets, with the street bums so he can lose some of his weight and cleanse his colon by drinking cheap street wines.

Of course that would really give our nations street bums a real bad name with him roaming the streets drunk. He just might carjack a car with some young lady in it and drown her when he drives off the side of a bridge in the darkness of night with no witnesses to confirm the story. Only this time he couldn't claim he swam for 20 hours to go get help. I doubt this colon and liver weighted anchor could muster more than 40 strokes before he went gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, to the bottom of the pond himself. Oh what an irony that would be. On the bright side, most sea faring animals that might feed on a dead person, would find little flavor chewing on 250 pounds of encrusted fecal material stuck on the inside walls of his colon. Although they may find his sugar bloated liver a might bit tasty and intoxicating.