The Washington Post : "President Bush crosses the Potomac River".
The L.A. Times : "George Bush has a water phobia"
The Washington Times : "Bush's conservative approach saves taxpayers a boat".
Mother Jones : "Bush steps in it".
Breaking news! Bush Can't Swim!
Posted By: Geoffrey the "Cruel Conservative"
Date: Monday, 15 May 2006, at 1:43 pm
"President Unable To Swim Ashore
15 May 2006/APWashington D.C. - During a pre-Oval Office speech about NSA efforts to spy on American citizen's telephone conversations, President Bush fell from a small craft into the Potomac River and was unable to swim ashore. According to eyewitnesses, including members of the press assembled for a question-answer period prior to the speech, the President walked ashore rather than swim.
When pressed by reporters to answer for Mr. Bush, White House spokesman Snow was unable to come up with an explantion for the display regarding Mr. Bush's inability to swim ashore, instead insisting Mr. Bush made it ashore and that was all that mattered.
"He walked on water, for crying out loud," Mr. Snow insisted. Mr. Snow later added, "You were all there, you all saw it, why won't you just report what you saw? Didn't anybody think to take a picture?"
But, according to White House press corps reporter Helen Thomas of the Hearst Syndicate News Services, Mr. Bush, "...didn't exactly walk on the water." According to Ms. Thomas, "Well, he sort of did but, it's not like anybody was actually looking to make sure there wasn't a platform under the water. That's my guess: the whole thing was a put-up job and he was really walking on the back of frog-men or a passing turtle."
Mr. Bush, when asked repeatedly to explain his use of subaquarian platforms to make it seem as though he had not been able to swim responded, "I guess someone up there just likes me."
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has scheduled hearings to investigate and promises, "We'll get to the bottom of this if it takes every leaker in the CIA, FBI and NSA to do it!"
"The Washington Times : "Bush's conservative approach saves taxpayers a boat".
This has to be one of the best laughs of a laugh filled morning.