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Give the background-check guys an eff'ing raise!!! They spotted this whacknut a mile away!

Conversation went something like this:
(Picture Ollie North type Interviewer)

Ahh, Saleh? We were looking at some problems with your background- it seems your brother, father, uncle and grandfather are all named Muhammed-Jihad Osama bin Laden..... except you. Care to elaborate on that?

"O.K., One day me and Muhammed..."
Interviewer- "which one?"
"my brother."
Interviewer- "go on."
"Me and my brother are walking through the woods and we spotted a hole in the ground in some tall grass. So I bent over to take a look, and it was very deep. We dropped a couple of rocks down the hole, but no sound."

Interviewer- "So, then what happened?"

Saleh- "I dropped some larger rocks down the hole, still no sound of rocks hitting bottom. I said, brother, I know what we will do! See that railroad tie over there? We will drop it. Surely we will hear something! So we went about dropping the railroad tie down the hole. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a crazed goat runs as fast as he can across in front of us like a bullet and down into the hole. We just looked at each other in amazement. It was at that time that a man appeared from the underbrush, looking for something- it was my uncle, Muhammed. I said uncle! Did you not see that?!?! That goat ran past us and down that bottomless hole right there!

Uncle M.- "That's impossible!, I had him tied to that railroad tie over there!"

Interviewer- "wow."

Saleh- "You see, That was my uncle's prized goat, and so to punish me they name me after goat...

Interviewer- "And you want to translate for the U.S. Army? Be on the first flight back to Boise."

Saleh- "Do you not want to hear how I accidentally staked my brother's goat to fire-ant hill at the terrorist training camp outside Atlanta? Ran 'round and 'round for threee weeks, threee weeks I tell you..."

Interviewer- "uh, have a nice day."