What's the range of a violin?
About 30-40 yards, if you've got a good arm.
What's the definition of perfect pitch?
Throwing a violin in a dumpster from 20 yards without hitting the rim.
Did you hear about the terrorists who hijacked a bus full of violinists?
They threatened to start releasing them if their demands were not met.
Hey where's Larry Fine's violin? C'mon Porcupine, give us a few bars of Weasel.