Posted on 05/30/2006 6:39:34 PM PDT by fanfan
I presume — but could be wrong — that city Coun. Alex Cullen wears deodorant, maybe even aftershave, maybe even cologne, but he’s scaring me.
If Cullen gets his way, watch out for signs on the outside walls of all city buildings saying: “No Smelling Nice Within Five Metres of Building.” And: “B.O. Preferred and Acceptable Inside.”
Cullen’s giving voice to the city’s latest MAJOR MUST-TACKLE ISSUE that keeps city taxpayers awake all night, fretting. People who use deodorants, perfumes, colognes, aftershaves, and sundry sweet-smelling scents: Council is going to debate whether the fragrances should be banned from city facilities including OC and Para Transpo buses, and light rail, due to the massive health crisis of citizens allergic to the things that make people smell nice.
It must be really terrible because the Sun’s Derek Puddicombe quotes Cullen as saying there are people “who become disabled because of these fragrances.”
Disabled? You’re kidding. When I hear the word “disabled” I envision twisted ankles and broken arms and other bodily impairments. I honestly did not know that among those people I’ve seen staggering out of bars, their legs not working, were some, maybe a lot, who weren’t the victims of too many bottles of Molson Ex, but too many inhalations of Drakkar Noir.
From now on when I hear an ambulance siren, I’ll be thinking it could be someone felled in the street or on a bus by one whiff too many of Old Spice, Mennen Speed Stick, Shalamar or Stetson.
Nose struck gold
As my civic duty, I went to city hall and — at great potential risk to my health — set my nose loose, imagining the building must be a cauldron of the sweet smells that have Cullen and Co. so ready to take action. People were coming in and out of the foyer, some milling about, and I walked around, sniffing, and didn’t smell anything sweet, and I sniffed harder, and still didn’t.
It wasn’t until I went into the small cafe off the foyer and ordered a coffee and sat down that my nose struck gold.
Well, I don’t know if gold is the right word. My nose picked up from a guy at the next table the strong, indisputable scent of underarm B.O.
You want to talk about developing an allergy to a scent? ARRRRRGH. I think I prefer the scents of Drakkar Noir, Old Spice, Mennen Speed Stick, Shalamar, and Stetson. I think I’d rather work in a building or be on a bus where people favour sweet-smelling scents to the natural fragrances of smelly armpits or smelly feet.
I think I’d like to tell Cullen and Co. — and all the anti-scent crusaders who are allergic to that which makes the human body smell nice — too bad, tough, I sympathize, but you must pay this price for the populace not evolving into the reek of decaying rodents.
I spoke to Harold and Lynne Trottier on the sidewalk outside city hall.
‘Ridiculous’
They’d been in to discuss a water bill. He’s 68, she’s 64.
“For God’s sake, is that what we pay them to do?” asked Lynne. “It’s ridiculous. There’s no way I’m going to stop wearing perfume on city properties. Even if I worked in one. I used to take the bus, and eccch, there were some awfully stinky people who needed a dose of perfume or cologne.”“
Harold: “The thing is, the human body smells. That’s why we take baths and showers.”
Lynne: “It’s why they invented soap.”
Harold: “Some people need a lot of cologne or deodorant or what have you. They need more than other people because, the way they’re made, they just have a tendency to smell more. They can’t help it. So, how’s the city going to arbitrarily decide what’s the right amount of scents to wear and what isn’t? They talk about educating the public first. They’re the ones who need an education in common sense.”
He caught the irony: “S-e-n-s-e,” he spelled.
Lynne: “I suppose the city will also ban flowers in all its parks? After all, there are people who are allergic to certain flowers that smell nice.”
Five years ago, OC Transpo buses had signs saying: Busology No. 11. Parfumus Overloadus. When working on your presentability, please use your scents with sensibility. Accompanied by a photo of a guy with a clothespin on his nose, making a face. Some buses still have the signs.
In this age of body piercings and tattoos, I suggest decorative, designer, nose clothespins for Cullen and Co. and all the anti-scent crusaders.
Letters to the editor should be sent to feedback@ott.sunpub.com.
Worse than that: the dreaded laundry detergent aisle, when a spill of Spring Fresh powdered detergent hasn't been completely cleaned up.
As people go, the most overpowering are the ones who try to cover up BO with a lot of cheap cologne...the worst of both worlds.
NANNY STATE PING........
I'm not sure what I want to say here..........
The Walmart in Ogden puts the soap and the airfresheners on the same aisle. There are days I put my Tshirt neck up over my nose just to walk down it, especially when I am looking for something I am having trouble finding...
I am starting to stockpile masks a little. I am afraid if the bird flu scare hits, I won't be able to get any...and that means I will be in trouble.
Unfortunately the answer is a resounding YES.
Then, we'll all be safe and live forever.
To what end and for what purpose, I just don't know.
I guess to work and generate the necessary revenue to police our every moment.
Yeah... I live four blocks away from it, and I can almost smell it from here!
Wow! We could do an Ogden Freep-in!
I know what you mean.
Thank you.
I'll be back tomorrow.
:-)
No, Jane, you ignorant journalist. I've watched it happen more than once. Mostly they just collapse. (Whether this requores banning scents is another question.) Perhaps a little medical research at an allergists office would have been helpful before having your name forever attached to this editorial.
I prepared for Y2k, and nothing happened. So, now I'm preparing for the avian flu... with my luck at disaster prediction you should be quite safe.
Yeah! Gotta be even more Ogdenese Freepers-- 3 or 4 I betcha.
It's a danged good thing you don't live where I do........you'd be run out of 3 states, let alone this county, for such blashemy.......
You are so right about that.
I have chemically triggered asthma. Not allergic to much, but have had off and on again problems with chemically triggered asthma. Lately it's been very bad. Since December, I haven't been able to go to church service on Sunday without an asthma attack unless I masked, mostly because the air circulation in our old building was bad, and everything seems to be scented or use those triggering chemicals any more - body wash. Hair products. Deoderants. Various scents.
I found if I wore two regular surgical masks and sat away from everybody else, I did ok.
Then we moved into a new building, and everything is still new...the floor finish. Latex paint. The upholstery on the pews. Probably even the finish on the wood.
I have to wear an R95 mask there. I can react to the slightest whiff of latex paint. And enamel is even worse. I've been using the 3M R95 Carbon Mask there, which works very well. But it's hot, and makes me feel like Darth Vader.
Our priest and I sort of laugh about it...He keeps telling me to put a smiley face on my mask. Thought about doing it!
But I don't go anywhere without my inhaler and my masks. for the last 2 weeks they had been resurfacing the roads near my house and in 10 days, I had about 8 triggers. Abuterol, and the extra coffee I drink when I get an attack hurt my tummy.
Ah life.
Don't tell me we now have to deal with Hai Karate nazis, too.
UGH......
Chicken (turkey, goose, duck) livers, I enjoy, in fact it's wonderful. Beyond that, liver is gross. I will not eat it and I will not cook it. My husband loves beef liver, but only eats it when we are out. He is quite capable of cooking it himself, in fact he's an excellent cook. He doesn't cook it at home because he knows I won't clean up the dishes from it........I despise it that much.
Smart move.
Other than the 2 brothers that live directly across the road from me, our nearest neighbors are 170,000 chickens.
You and me both!!!!!!!!
We warned them...........but they wouldn't listen to us.........
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