My employer was having words with his wife in their kids' playroom. She decided to throw a "Big Wheel" (large and heavy) type toy at him and missed, but almost clobbered their daughter. She went on to throw a few more items at him before he put her arm behind her back and took her into the hall to calm down.
When the police arrived after complaints by neighbors, they found her having tea in the kitchen, crying and trying to compose herself. When the Santa Clara PD asked him what happened, he stated the story just as above, which in this community is an admission of of assault. She admitted to the events just the same as happened. He had no marks on him, but she had the marks of his hand(s) on her forearm, so he was taken away.
Their marriage ended soon after because my employer could not trust his wife and have his liberty in such question. My role as a witness to the incident helped not at all. I love both of these people and disappointed that the state has ruined their home over such a small matter.
In California, if either party is the least prone to being physical, the marriage is over. I suppose you have to let the violence get out of hand and also hurt your children before anything matters.
I hear what y'all are saying, but I've never really considered laws when dealing with any husband/wife type arguements and I've still managed to keep out of jail.
Maybe just lucky, maybe just choose wisely, dunno..