I've already admitted my ignorance of the military, does that make me a "winner"?
Honestly, I'm a 4F 62 year old that just doesn't get people faking something like this. It probably starts as a little white lie, trying to get laid. Then somebody introduces you as "Colonel" and you're stuck. Thirty years later you've built this elaborate facade and everybody knows you're an AH.
This is why I always tell the truth and never mention my secret landing on Mars.
Basically anything but "winner"
Earned
Awarded
Honored with
etc.
And if a Marine wants to give you "short gun" inspection, run like hell.
You may as well - I can confirm it. I was over on the west side behind some rocks and I saw you land.