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I have one important question -- Why remain Jewish? Why have Jewish children? Why pass on the faith?

I am not being mean, nasty, or arrogant. My heritage is Jewish, I live in Montana -- but what is so important about being Jewish?

When I was younger it was Jewish kids that picked on me. When I was younger I went to Hebrew school -- only to learn that what they taught there was a watered down form of a religion I could pick and choose what I wanted.

Then when I tried to be religious (orthodox) I found that those who gave the most money were the most celebrated -- at a Sephardi synagogue they actually bid on who got to read from the Torah. In Ashkenazi synagogues if you get called up you are supposed to make a huge contribution -- when is it about money ? MONEY MONEY MONEY -- one fund raising event after another. I look at all of the corruption in New Square, all the false kosher markings by rabbis taking bribes for items not kosher -- and than in Kansas City a Orthodox rabbi has to leave BIAV Synagogue due to the fact that hundreds of thousands of dollars are missing. The orthodox community Seattle covers up when a rabbi is caught with several young girls. Another Rabbi takes money from the local Hebrew school and is bribed with over $250,000 so that he won't take the community to a Jewish court in New York and the Seattle Orthodox community does not want this information to get public due to the fact that this would embarrass them and they do not want the rest of the world to know that there is a huge amount of corruption in the Orthodox Jewish community!
I can go on and on and on == why should I look up to these people -- my wolf hybrid has more morals than these people.
Covering things up only makes things WORSE!

Well. First and foremost, this has to be a choice you make for yourself. Mostly, because you are called by God to come home. And if you find Jews who are lost, you must help them home if they care to come along.

All sorts of "religious" people get lost in foolishness and even in disgrace. All churches raise money continuously. A Catholic parish has multiple fund raisers often involving gambling and beer. These "festivals" are alot of fun, but you could look at them really negatively if you want to. I know alot of fundamentalist Christians that are completely appalled by these "events."

Anyway, this isn't about this Rabbi or that, its about you and your connection to God. Thats what you need to work out. There are good congregations and bad in any religion, you just have to seek them out. Moses was so upset with the Jews he just led out of Egypt that he broke the tablets he was bringing down from from the mountain. You are not the first to be frustrated with Jews messing up. Its not fair to tar the whole with the mistakes of a few, or a bunch. Remember Jim Bakker, or Jimmy Swaggart, religion money and foolishness are not new.

As far as being picked on, this is all too common, its something we share with our ancestors throughout time it seems. The Romans really picked on the Jews between 71 and 131 AD, lots of other folks have done alot of picking too. Hitler being of recent memory, but many more stand in line to pick on the Jews. Being a Jew isn't easy.

But thats not what its about, its about God and if God calls you to him as a Jew what are you going to do?

Thats the question you have to ask.

Don't tolerate corruption. Don't give into despair. Speak out where it matters. Find God where ever you find God. Thats good enough.

I have a similar background in that there were very few Jews in the town I grew up in. I picked up some slack for it. But there was also some curiosity.

I had two choices. Abandon Judaism or embrace my identity as "The Jew," even if there was no opportunity to be part of a Jewish community, Orthodox or otherwise. I believe God exists. I believe the Torah is, for the most part, accurate. I don't believe in Jesus.

Once I moved to cities where there were more extensive Jewish communities, I admit that I found it hard to fit in. Small town boy in a group of big city/suburban people. Well, it's not like I've ever been that socially ept,anyway. Interestingly enough, it seemed to be Hasidim -- specifically the Lubavitch (Chabad) who most easily accepted me as Jewish. But, I think you have to be either born to that or spiritually driven to be Hasidic. And I've never been terribly uncomfortable with the consertative-to-reform believes I've had.

I had decided that I would marry whoever I fell in love with and was willing to marry me, Jewish, Christian, or other -- and considering the crowd I hung out in, New-Age Pagan was a possibility. I wasn't going to change my religion, though what my children would turn out to be would be anyone's guess. As it turned out I fell in love with a Christian woman who had already considering converting to Judaism.

To get back to the original point, I sympathize with you -- it is not easy for a Jew raised outside the Jewish community to fit in to the Jewish community. So, short of complete, Orthodox immersion, one has to decide what is or isn't going to be part of your identity and beliefs, independent of what does or does not go on in the Jewish community.