Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist
(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.
As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.
The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.
Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.
"It was like a time bomb," April said.
"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.
Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.
This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.
"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.
The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.
"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.
"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.
Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.
Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.
While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.
Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.
"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.
"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.
Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.
"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.
Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.
Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.
"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.
Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.
"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.
Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.
Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.
"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.
April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.
"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.
Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.
Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.
"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.
April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.
It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.
You don't know crap about my daddy who was in the home. And now you're being really nasty.
My post scares you? Well yours doesn't scare me. I've been listening to wacky feminists spew the same nonsense 30 years.
Not that scary. Look, it's life. If you're lucky you get born and along the way you grow up, flirt, drink, fight, get hurt, heal, hear some good music, see some sights, both man made and natural, raise the family etc. etc. at some point ya die and the last thing going through your mind should be, "damn, that was fun!"
As much as it's scary, he does have a very valid point.
There's a common thread among most criminals--they've had at best a weak or violent father figure--or often, none at all.
While they do exist, most people who've had a father figure have do better in life and usually remain on the right side of the law.
There ain't anyway I want to look at that post. Its really just rather silly to make a judgement that unless you've been married and faithful for 20 years you don't know what love is.
My post scares you? Well yours doesn't scare me. I've been listening to wacky feminists spew the same nonsense 30 years.
You're a really patient guy. I would have just walked away after a few minute -- okay, maybe after five or six years if they had a nice pair of uh,...oh never mind.
Perhaps. But I remember in HS, the kids who were the most f'd up were the ones that came from home with a father and mother. Most were from upper class families, drank, did drugs, got suspended, etc. The ones who excelled were the ones that everyone expected to fail- myself being one of them.
Please stop acting like the victim.
YOU'RE the person who said your father was a disappointment, not me. You've got some chutzpah there. You say he was a lousy father, then you get mad at me for saying you have daddy issues.
I can say with relative certainty that your dad did a bad job of parenting you, based upon what you have said on this thread, and because of that bad parenting, you don't realize the value of fathers.
Well I guess I can be grateful then, I'm only known to have a serious chemical imbalance instead.
The gentleman IS the father of the toddler, not of the 8 year old. My point is he considers them BOTH as his own children.
And if that's true, then what's right is whatever you decide is right. Nothing good will come from situational ethics.
Don't put words in my mouth. My comments were directed at one specific issue, where a poster said a child conceived of rape should be put up for adoption, because choosing single motherhood, even in that case was wrong. I gave an example (my friend and her family) that proved that absolutist attitude to be wrong.
She was raped at 15, gave birth 2 weeks after turning 16 and kept her child as a single mother with the support of her family. 4 years later she married and now has another child and they have a wonderful family. Show me where ethics or morals have been compromised in the least in this situation.
"I can say with relative certainty that your dad did a bad job of parenting you, based upon what you have said on this thread, and because of that bad parenting, you don't realize the value of fathers."
You haven't read a single post of mine in this thread if that's what you believe. And I'm truly sorry for you really.
That's the overall trend.
In high school, the reverse is true--I went to a high school where my classmates drove BMW, Lincoln, and Lexus. And they were the ones with drugs, sex, underage drinking, etc.
But in the adult world, it's almost always the case that those in prison didn't have a father figure (or at least a positive male influence)
Cite ONE inaccuracy in your post? I cited two. Your contention thatthe "current war" has a "large" impact on demographics, i.e., that it reduces the number of marriagable males in quantities sufficient to be an excuse for women having children without fathers is inaccurate. Do you think that a diminution in the number of males (married and unmarried) of .000000013% causes the phenomenon cited in the article. It cannot. And that is why your analysis is inaccurate. It's your analysis to defend, and when you overstate the facts, then you will be called on it.
The number one determinant of whether a boy will get in trouble with the law is: Does he have a daddy in the home?
70% of black children are born today out of wedlock.
25% of nonblack children are born today out of wedlock.
Kids deserve both genders as parents. Mother Nature knows best, and the feminist hubris of the past 40 years would be laughable, if not so societally harmful.
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks, I needed that!
But you stated earlier in the thread you were raised without a father in the home... are you a criminal?
Show me a statistic of children born to single mothers and sperm donors.
I AM WOMAN
WATCH ME ROAR
IN NUMBERS
TOO BIG TO IGNORE!!
Guess what? It was BS when Helen Reddy sang it, and it still is.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.