So there you go. I'm coming over, and I'm going to eat your food. You can sleep on the couch, by the way. Oh, and after a while, I'll need the title to the property. Don't worry, you can still go to work- I don't want the job if you're still willing to do it. Just keep the food coming in.
After all, you are a compassionate person, right? I love my family, and I practice my faith...
And speaking of family, they'll be along shortly too...