Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities!
Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A. His lips are moving.
Q. What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q. How do you save five drowning lawyers?
A. Who cares?
Q. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A. Cut the rope.
Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?
A. In the cemetery.
ok i am finished got that out of my system