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Mark Steyn: The Da Vinci Code: bad writing for Biblical illiterates
Maxleans ^ | 05/10/06 | Mark Steyn

Posted on 05/10/2006 8:05:29 AM PDT by Pokey78

As with other long-running franchises, Jesus has been reinvented with ever more bizarre storylines

It's a good rule in this line of work to respect a hit. But golly, The Da Vinci Code makes it hard. At the start of the book, Dan Brown pledges, "All descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents and secret rituals in this novel are accurate." It's everything else that's hokum, beginning with the title, whose false tinkle testifies to Brown's penchant for weirdly inauthentic historicity. Referring to "Leonardo da Vinci" as "da Vinci" is like listing Lawrence of Arabia in the phone book as "Of Arabia, Mr. L," or those computer-generated letters that write to the Duke of Wellington as "Dear Mr. Duke, you may already have won!"

So I didn't like the title and then I began reading the book. In the beginning was the word, and Mr. Brown's very first one seems to have gone missing:

"Renowned curator Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted archway of the museum's Grand Gallery."

And after that I found it hard to stagger on myself. Shouldn't it be "The renowned curator"? What happened to the definite article? Did Mr. Brown choose to leave it off in order to affect an urgent investigative journalistic style? No, it's just the way he writes. Here's the first sentence of Angels &Demons:

"Physicist Leonardo Vetra smelled burning flesh, and he knew it was his own."

The linguist Geoffrey Pullum -- or linguist Geoffrey Pullum, as novelist Dan Brown would say -- identifies this as the anarthrous occupational nominal premodifier, to which renowned novelist Dan Brown is unusually partial. In Deception Point, in what must count as a wild experiment in form for him, he holds off on the AONP until the second sentence:

"Death, in this forsaken place, could come in countless forms. Geologist Charles Brophy had endured the savage splendor of this terrain for years . . ."

Novelist Dan Brown staggered through the formulaic splendour of his opening sentence. I've discussed his anarthrous kickoff with a couple of novelists and they say things like, "It doesn't sound like a novel," and I usually reply that that's the point. If The Da Vinci Code were just a novel, it would just be crummy writing. But insofar as it evokes one of those interminable Newsweek background pieces reconstructing the John Kerry presidential campaign or some such, it bolsters the sleight of hand of the book: it rhythmically supports the impression that this is not a work of fiction, but a documentary unlocking of a two-millennia-old secret -- to wit, that Jesus married Mary Magdalene and sired a long line of descendants unto (anarthrous alert) police cryptologist Sophie Neveu, played in the movie by renowned French actress Audrey Tautou. In other words, the Gospels are a crock. Acclaimed painter Leonardo da Vinci knew the truth and left clues in his acclaimed paintings.

This premise has made anarthrous novelist Dan Brown the bestselling anarthrous novelist in the world. Even in a largely post-Christian West, Jesus is still a hit brand but, like other long-running franchises, he's been reinvented. It's like one of those bizarro Superman/alternate universe specials the comic books like to do. Or maybe one of those sputtering soaps that take refuge in ever more bizarre storylines -- that season of Dallas where they wrote off the previous year's worth of shows as a bad dream of Pam Ewing's.

The latest Bizarro Christ bestseller is the so-called Gospel of Judas, lost for 1,600 years but apparently rediscovered 20 minutes ago, edited by various scholars and now published by the National Geographic Society in Washington. Evidently, National Geographic has fallen on hard times since the days when anthropological studies of remote tribes were a young man's only readily available source of pictures of naked women. So I hope this new wrinkle works out for them. Renowned betrayer Judas Iscariot, you'll recall, was the disciple who sold out Jesus. Only it turns out he didn't! He was in on the plot! The betrayal was all part of the plan! For, as the Gospel of Judas exclusively reveals, Christ came to him and said, "Rudolph, with your nose so bright . . ." No, wait, that's a later codex. Christ said to Judas that he "will exceed all" the other disciples because it had fallen to him to "sacrifice the man that clothes me."

As with The Da Vinci Code, the air of scholarship is important. So here's the first sentence of the Gospel of Judas:

"The secret account1 of the revelation2 that Jesus spoke in conversation with Judas Iscariot during a week3 three days before he celebrated Passover4."

Scholarly or what? Four footnotes in the first sentence. And when you go down to the foot, footnote one says: "or, 'treatise,' 'discourse,' 'word' (Coptic, from Greek, logos)." Footnote two reads: "Or, 'declaration,' 'exposition,' 'statement'. . ." What is this? The Thesaurus of Judas? Here's number three: "literally, 'during eight days,' probably intended to indicate a week."

You think so? Or could it indicate a little over a week?

On the face of it, sticking a bunch of speed bumps into every sentence would not normally be considered helpful to the reader. But once again the point is tonal: it's to remind you, relentlessly, that this is "authentic" -- it was actually written by long-time Jesus sidekick Judas! Well, okay, it wasn't. It's a fourth-century Coptic text by some guy, but it's believed to be pretty close to the original second-century Greek text. Okay, Judas wasn't around in the second century, but the fellows who wrote his "Gospel" likely got it from a friend of a friend of a friend of his. As Dr. Simon Gathercole of the University of Aberdeen told my old pal Dalya Alberge in the London Times, the alleged Gospel of Judas "contains a number of religious themes which are completely alien to the first-century world of Jesus and Judas, but which did become popular later, in the second century AD. An analogy would be finding a speech claiming to be written by Queen Victoria, in which she talked about The Lord Of The Rings and her CD collection."

And that would probably sell, too, if you put in a bit about how she was the love child of John the Baptist, but the Knights Templar covered it up until the manuscript was discovered at an Elks Lodge. The "Gospel" of Judas isn't a Gospel as the term is understood in the New Testament. It has minimal narrative and no moral teachings. If it's authentic, it joins the club of marginal second-century Gnostic texts that are floating around out there. If you're a believing Christian, it's thin gruel. Nonetheless, the New York Times hails it as "revealing the diversity of beliefs and practices among early followers of Jesus."

"Diversity," eh? Now what could they mean by that? Interestingly, for those gay-marriage advocates who point out that Jesus never said a word about homosexuality in his entire life, there are a couple of moments here in which Jesus refers to priests who are fornicators and "sleep with men." But don't worry. As footnote 51 assures us, "The accusation of sexual impropriety is a standard feature of polemical argumentation. One's opponents are frequently said to be immoral people."

In other words, it's just a bit of rhetorical red meat. Don't take it as Gospel. It seems curious to me that, on the one hand, one can claim this book in general blows the lid off Christ's final days and, at the same time, that in particular it's full of period tics that shouldn't be taken literally. These Christianesque bestsellers surely testify to something, but God knows what (as it were). It's interesting that so many non-churchgoing readers are interested in Jesus, disheartening that they're so Biblically illiterate. Still, given the success he's had dismissing the premise of the New Testament as a fraud, perhaps Dan Brown could try writing a revisionist biography of acclaimed prophet Muhammad. Just a thought.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: anarthrous; davincicodeisgarbage
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To: MHGinTN; Steve_Seattle; Campion
Jn 13:16-20 (RSV)
When Jesus had washed the disciples’ feet, he said to them:
“Amen, amen, I say to you, no slave is greater than his
master nor any messenger greater than the one who sent him.
If you understand this, blessed are you if you do it.
I am not speaking of all of you.
I know those whom I have chosen.
But so that the Scripture might be fulfilled,
The one who ate my food has raised his heel against me.
From now on I am telling you before it happens,
so that when it happens you may believe that I AM.
Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever receives the one I send
receives me, and whoever receives me receives the one who
sent me.”

If I recall correctly, God tells Moses that His name is "I AM WHO AM" (He is 'being' in other words) and to then tell them that "I AM sent me." That is pretty clear to me that Jesus is God. He tells us so. He is I AM, the Logos, the Word.

181 posted on 05/11/2006 4:36:14 PM PDT by Frank Sheed (Tá brón orainn. Níl Spáinnis againn anseo.)
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To: fortunecookie

Mister Brown is building for himself quite a millstone. In his calculus he likely believes he is merely searching for a writing formula that will make of him a successful wrter. He now is that, but oh that millstone ...


182 posted on 05/11/2006 4:46:16 PM PDT by MHGinTN (If you can read this, you've had life support from someone. Promote life support for others.)
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To: fortunecookie
Yes, I read the entire book. Yes, I read it as fiction and I didn't approach it with a massive chip on my shoulder. The author's "style" is no better or worse than the majority of what you see on the best sellers list these days.

What I said about leftist memes still stands. MANY of the negative responses I've read are from people who couldn't be bothered to read the book cover to cover. They're just echoing prepackaged talking points. That kind of mindless mob response from conservatives might not bother you or others but I find it repulsive.

183 posted on 05/11/2006 5:06:30 PM PDT by jess35
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To: jess35; MHGinTN
The author's "style" is no better or worse than the majority of what you see on the best sellers list these days.

About which subject my favorite author had something to say: "A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author." G.K. CHESTERTON

184 posted on 05/11/2006 5:16:18 PM PDT by rhema ("Break the conventions, keep the commandments." -- G. K. Chesterton)
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To: Zechariah_8_13

tnx, zech, hope all is well w u


185 posted on 05/11/2006 5:56:16 PM PDT by VoiceOfBruck (optional, printed after your name on post)
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To: jess35
Yes, I read it as fiction and I didn't approach it with a massive chip on my shoulder.

LOL, and I have not. Nor have many others who have tried to read it.

The author's "style" is no better or worse than the majority of what you see on the best sellers list these days.

Exactly. And when you find an author whose writing style you find unenjoyable or unreadable, or a topic that holds no interest to you or that you find repugnant, do you continue to read the book? If we substitute any other title for 'Da Vinci Code', would the same arguments stand? I didn't have to read all of 'It takes a Village' to know that I disagreed with the author on many points and did not find it an enjoyable read, as per the writing style.

MANY of the negative responses I've read are from people who couldn't be bothered to read the book cover to cover. They're just echoing prepackaged talking points. That kind of mindless mob response from conservatives might not bother you or others but I find it repulsive.

I will agree that some may be taking the advice of friends or others and not bothering to read it, using 'talking points' to describe their objections. But that doesn't diminish their objections.

Your point in terms of reading it cover to cover? Does this only apply to the Da Vinci Code? Is there some subtle nuance or nugget buried deep within that redeems it? Do you read through every book you select, or that is offered or recommended to you, even if you don't care for it? Is your opinion of that rejected book any less because you fail to finish it? I don't care for mindless mob mentality, either, but I'm not sure that's what's in play here.

186 posted on 05/11/2006 8:07:50 PM PDT by fortunecookie
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To: jess35

Jess,

Look, DVC is a hugely successful novel. A friend gave it to me. I am an omnivorous reader, and usually am in the process of reading two or three books at a time, but after getting through about 2/3 of this one just put it down. The writing was pedestrian and pretentious, the characters were wooden and the plot was preposterous.

No need to get defensive about it. Mark Steyn is devastating when he gets on someone’s case, and this case is worth getting on.


187 posted on 05/14/2006 5:15:12 AM PDT by moneyrunner (I have not flattered its rank breath, nor bowed to its idolatries a patient knee.)
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To: moneyrunner
Moneyrunner,

No offense, but if I want to read Oliver Kamm's opinion, I can go to his blog. You echoed his opinion almost word for word. Just like a leftist meme.

188 posted on 05/14/2006 9:46:25 AM PDT by jess35
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