Good question.
My guess (and it is a very good one) was that they chose Rehab because it is supposed elicit public and legal sympathy. Going to Rehab is supposed to make a statement saying you have a problem, and are trying to lick it.
Many, many addicts and alcoholics who do go to Rehab are sincere, and honest. I applaud them.
I don't give "Patches" the same kudos. He is trying to cover his arse, and it is patently obvious.
I just had an inspired flash on how we might handle this. We'll do the same thing we do with gun control, punish the innocent. Let's make all high school students sit through at least 1 hour of class on the dangers of sleep driving on Ambien.
Old St. Pat can lead the charge for this when he gets out of rehab. I'm sure Katie Curic and the rest will be happy to go along.
Problem solved! :^)