"It's OK officer, I'm Cong Kennedy."
High Court May Replace Miranda with Kennedy Rights
http://www.scrappleface.com/?p=2252
1 You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Do you understand? If so, stagger randomly.
2 Anything you do say will be ignored and quickly forgotten, because you’re not yourself right now. Do you understand? If so, let your chin drop suddenly to your chest.
3 You have the right to consult a public relations firm before speaking to the police, and to have your PR spokesman present during questioning now or in the future. Do you understand? If so, say: ‘My umbersmand.’
4 If you cannot afford a public relations firm, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. Do you understand? If so, allow your eyeballs to roll back in their sockets.
5 Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without a public relations expert present? If you say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’, or make any sound at all, or say nothing, we will respect your right to remain silent and we’ll give you a ride home.
"It's OK officer, I'm Cong Kennedy."