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I understand the concept of wanting to be with others that are similar..especially language but I completely reject this concept of yours that the deaf are so different.

The deaf *are different* and they always will be. They are in a different culture, they think differently, they comprehend differently, they speak differently, they understand differently -- they are different.

I've been reading Star Traveler's posts on this thread, and for the most part I do tend to agree with most of what he has said. Keep in mind that his experiences growing up in a home with Deaf parents, in a Deaf culture environment, is quite a bit different than yours.

I pretty much live in the "Deaf World" full-time, and to say that it isn't different would not be realistic. It is different, and I don't mean to imply that is is different in a negative way, or in a "we're better than others" way, no. I think Star Traveler has explained it all very well in his posts, which he put a lot of time and thought into. He took quite a bit of abuse from some posters, and yet he maintained his integrity by ignoring their insults and focused on educating them on the issues that were brought up. I don't think I could have responded as graciously as he did with some of the ignorant things some of the posters said to him (not yours).

Star Traveler knows what he speaks of, and it reminded me of my own relationship with my two sons who were often put in a position of having to interpret for me, whether they wanted to or not. I tried very hard not to use my two sons for interpreting for me, but sometimes it was impossible to avoid. Star Traveler obviously loves his mom and dad and would do anything for them, but you can from the comments he has made that he didn't like having to be a "full-time" interpreter for his folks, especially when it involved difficult issues. It is not right for Deaf parents to use their kids as their private interpreters, but as many CODA's will tell you, it is a very common occurrence in a Deaf home. That may answer the question as to why many CODA's are not involved in interpreting as a career choice, although I happen to know quite a few of them personally. Many of them did not like their experiences growing up in the Deaf world. It's not that it was a "horrible" life for them, but like Star Traveler said, the Deaf *are* different.

Living in the "Deaf World" is not for everyone. I am post-lingually deaf, and have been involved in Deaf culture for over 25 years now (I'm 52). I can tell you from my own personal experiences, that even I feel like I don't want to continue to be a part of this culture at times. On occasion, I have considered leaving the ministry, because, well it's too complicated to explain, but it all ties into William Star's comment about Deaf being *different*. I love Deaf people with all my heart, and God has called me into Deaf ministry, but because they are so different in how they think, comprehend and understand, it just "wears me down" sometimes.

I am just being very honest with you here, and of course, opening myself up to criticism in the process, which is fine, I can handle it. But you need to understand that the child you are raising is not growing up in the same Deaf world that Star Traveler grew up in. Your child will be more integrated into society because of her training, cochlear implant, and because you are raising her in a totally different environment than most Deaf people live in (especially the older ones). I predict within 20-25 years Deaf culture, as we know it here in America, will be pretty much nonexistent due to the changes in technology, education and many other factors that I will not go into here on this thread. Nine out of ten babies who are born deaf today are implanted, and most of them (I think over 60%) are not being taught ASL. Their parents don't want them raised to learn sign language because they want them to grow up as a "normal" hearing child. I am not making judgment on this, I'm just telling you what the facts are here.

Wallcrawlr, I know I went off the subject quite a bit here, but I wanted to really address this to you and Star Traveler both. I want Star Traveler to know that I understand his feelings about growing up and having to be the interpreter in the family. I wish I had been more sensitive about this at times when my sons were growing up. Both of my adult sons tell me they do not resent it, but I don't think they are being completely honest with me about it. Neither one of them followed my foot steps into Deaf ministry (I'm kind of glad in a way), however, they are both in the ministry and doing some awesome things. My oldest son is a certified interpreter (level five) in Oklahoma, but he chose not to go into Deaf ministry or become an interpreter. My other son could be a level five certified interpreter, but he has no desire to do so at all, which is fine with me. I'm just thrilled they are serving God and in the ministry. But, I honestly think that their growing up in the Deaf church all their lives and being around Deaf people influenced them to *not* want to be an interpreter or go into Deaf ministry. Star Traveler will understand this, and for those of you who don't understand it, go back and read his posts as he does a terrific job in explaining it, much better than I ever could. I'm sure more discussion will follow and I look forward to it.

Star Traveler, you sound like a wonderful son to your parents (as mine are), and I know your parents appreciate and love you deeply for who you are, and not just for what you did for them. I'm sure you know that, but I wanted to tell you anyway.

You said -- "I understand the concept of wanting to be with others that are similar..especially language but I completely reject this concept of yours that the deaf are so different."

There's only one word left for you and what you're saying -- "denial". That's all it is. Nothing more.

The evidence is there, the people are there to tell you, the deaf community is there (they'll tell you). You're simply rejecting it all because you don't like it. That doesn't change the facts.

Regards,
Star Traveler