I've been scarfing down Einstein Bagels and I don't feel any smarter.
Maybe you should switch to Panera bagels. I miss real Jewish bagels from NJ. There was a bagel shop in Edison, NJ that was run by an othodox Jew and his wife. They made the best bagels in the world, hot out of the oven with a ton of butter slathered on top.
Now I'm drooling.