I do want to thank you for something, though. Your personally abusive nature makes me praise God more than ever for sending my way my two friends who helped me find Him and His forgiveness. I expected the kind of condemnation and rejection you show and was stunned to receive compassion and understanding and a boatload of patience.
If you're a fair representation of the people in the Catholic Church, then things haven't changed since I was a kid.
On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."
Get help.