[umgud]

And I don't want anybody to watch me moving my bowels or performing certain female functions in the bathroom.

You mean women actually move bowels?

[Fairview]

You mean women actually move bowels?

Yes, but when we do the product is peach-pink, fluffy, and smells like a hybrid tea rose. And we don't make gross noises, either.

[Still Thinking]

You mean women actually move bowels?

No, but they have other secret, women-only functions, usually including incantations and hosiery, that we would never understand, even if a woman broke her oath and tried to explain them to us.