you wife can pretend to be Jewish--BUT SHE AIN'T. AND NEITHER ARE YOUR CHILDREN
I got news for you, but my wife did go through a halachic orthodox conversion. A conservative rabbi taught the conversion class, but the conversion itself was at an Orthodox synagogue with an orthodox Beit Din approving her conversion.
As for the rest, my parents chose where I grew up, so I can't help that. But believe me, after being of the few Jews on town -- the kid who was often thought of as THE JEW -- my Judaism means a lot to me. How I choose to express it, based on how I was raised, what I've experienced, what I've thought, and what I've prayed is a matter between me and God, for Him to condemn or approve. I answer to God. Not you.
if you answered to G-d, then you would be observing his mitzvos--because that is what he COMMANDS JEWS to do. I assure you, he doesn't approve of you driving on the sabbath, or eating at Pizza-Hut etc.... regardless of how you were raised.
your answer to me was basically a "I answer to no one and I'll do what I want"
reform Jews unfortunately do not follow anything and will unfortunately be lost and are being lost at an enormous rate.
please read this and let me know if it makes sense:
http://www.simpletoremember.com/vitals/WillYourGrandchildrenBeJews.htm