Amen. Respect has become the same as tolerance, something all civilized people extend to one another. Respect used to be something earned. Now, as you have pointed out, people believe they are entitled to respect. And at my local high school, that is one of the "pillars" of student behavior, that they respect one another. I tolerate some people but definitely don't respect them, and I am sure they feel the same about me.
You say kids are obsessed about gaining respect. I suspect they are really afraid of disrespect which is what they consider any type of disapproval of them or their choices. Our self-esteem programs have created little insecure babes afraid of challenging themselves to a higher level of accomplishment on the chance they might fail and feel bad about themselves or have to live with the memory of failure.
It is truly sad. And truly bad for our future accomplishments as a civilization. Another poster has mentioned it might take a civil war to turn things around. Civil wars are fought by people who believe they have something worth fighting for and are willing to risk themselves to accomplish it. Want to guess how a lot of our upcoming generation might react to a call to fight? A few years ago one of my daughters was given an assignment in high school American history to write a paper on whether the teacher should teach a rosy picture of American history or (her phrase) the real picture. I helped my daughter frame her response as one of knowing the strengths of this nation and believing in the nation before one can be expected to fight to correct its problems. Otherwise it's a hopeless effort. The paper was well done but politically incorrect. The teacher ripped it, not on technique but with several of her own comments like "I wish I could be as optimistic about this country" written on the paper. There was no question as to which direction this teacher would take in her class. I pulled my daughter out.
We need people who value things more than their own convenience, or even lives, as our soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan are proving. I'm fearful of our future with kids as enervated as they are right now. And the education system isn't helping.
I remember reading a study a number of years ago that the students who were behavior problems scored the highest on the "Self-esteem" level.
Most parents today believe that there is something valuable about "Self-esteem" and it is good to have.
I wonder how high Bill Gates' self-esteem was in HS?