Any way you look at it, woman's situation was tragic (with adjustments)

The News & Observer ^ | 4/1/2006 | Elizabeth A. Weiss

[schooter]

In the interest of fair and balanced, appended in blue is how the article might have appeared.

Any way you look at it, woman's situation was tragic

Any way you look at it, players' situation was tragic

When I heard about the rape accusations against members of the Duke University men's lacrosse team last weekend, something changed for me.
As a young woman living in Durham, I felt personally affected by the accusations alone. I don't know if all women feel as though something tears within them when they learn of that kind of assault -- an assault on something sacred. But that is what it felt like for me.

When I heard about the false rape accusations against members of the Duke University men's lacrosse team, something changed for me. As a young man living in Durham, I felt personally affected by the false accusations alone. I don't know if all men feel as though something tears within them when they learn of that kind of hoax -- a hoax on something sacred. But that is what it felt like for me.

I don't know how long it will be before I can look at a young, white male strolling around Durham and not think for a moment, "Could he be a rapist?"

I don't know how long it will be before I can look at a young, black female strolling around Durham and not think for a moment, "Could she be a false witness?"

This is close to me. I am not black, and I am not an exotic dancer, and I am not yet a mother, but that is where the differences end, and I don't think those are important differences to begin with. The woman who came forward was a student, in her twenties, lived in Durham, worked for a living, and cared about how her father would take what happened to her.

This is close to me. I am not black, and I am not a lacrosse player, and I am not a student, but that is where the differences end, and I don't think those are important differences to begin with. The boys who were falsely accused were students, in their teens and early twenties, living in Durham, playing lacrosse for their scholarships, and cared about how their parents would take the awful lies.

But even our similarities are superficial, just as superficial as the fact that she was at the party that night to dance -- a fact that seems to be of great importance for those looking for a reason to discredit her.

But even our similarities are superficial, just as superficial as the fact that the boys were there at that party to drink beer and watch strippers -- a fact that seems to be of great importance for those looking for a reason to discredit them (not to mention past instances of loud noise and open beers).

The moment I heard the circumstances, that she was there as an exotic dancer, I became even more empathetic, not because rape is any more or less tragic depending on one's profession, but because she was put in that situation out of necessity, as a worker. It is a risky profession, I know, but so is working construction.

The moment I heard the circumstances, that they were there partying, I became even more empathetic, not because false accusations are any more or less tragic depending on one's party habits, but because they were lacrosse players and prone to rowdy good times. Lacrosse is a risky sport, I know, but so is hockey, only less so.

Honor and virtue are more determined by how you treat other people than how you support your family. I imagine that profession allowed her to provide for her two children and attend N.C. Central, and I realize that not everyone starts out in life on the same playing field; I do not judge her for working for an escort service.

Honor and virtue are more determined by how you treat other people than how you earn your scholarship. I know that playing that sport allowed them to go to Duke, and I realize that not everyone starts out in life on the same playing field; I do not judge them for their hard work and dedication to being one of the best lacrosse teams in the country.

I felt connected to her because I somehow understood, based on pure instinct and imagination, how hard it must have been to talk to the Durham police that night.

I felt connected to them because I somehow understood, based on pure instinct and imagination, how hard it must have been to hear the DA repeating the false accusation loudly and repeatedly in the national media.

It is odd how strongly I winced internally when I heard the details, having never experienced anything like that. Yet somehow I felt pain and sadness -- and anger. I don't know when I'll stop thinking about what that must have been like every time I drive past the Kroger on Hillsborough Road where she felt safe enough to stop.

It is odd how strongly I winced internally when I heard the details of the lie, having never experienced any accusations like that. Yet somehow I felt pain and sadness -- and anger. I don't know when I'll stop thinking about what that must have been like every time I drive past the lacrosse field, where they felt safe enough to play.

I understand that no charges have been filed. The DNA tests will come out next week, and as of now, the Duke men's lacrosse team is only issuing statements proclaiming their "unequivocal denial" of her allegations. It would be nice to learn that a young woman was not tortured in a pretty house in a lovely neighborhood by a group of smart young men.

I understand that no charges have been filed. The DNA tests have all come back negative, and as of now, the DA is only issuing statements about their guilt and promising to continue with the case. It would be nice if people would recognize the plain fact that no young woman was tortured and raped in a slightly run down house in an OK neighborhood by a group of smart young men.

But as a woman, I cannot imagine making those accusations unless they were true. More than half of the sexual assaults in this country go unreported still, according to the National Crime Victimization Survey. And some of the details resonate too strongly for them to be conjured.

But as a man, I cannot understand how a woman could make those accusations when they are not true. Hate crime hoaxes are common in America, especially on college campuses, according to Laird Wilcox in his self-published booklet titled, "Crying Wolf: Hate Crime Hoaxes in America". And some of the details resonate too strongly for them to be ignored.

Many of the details of this situation are incredibly charged. Race, class, gender, all of those hot issues swirl together in this story and are possibly clouding the judgment of some.

No shit.

So I ask you to consider the situation, but with a few minor details reversed. What if it was a white exotic dancer making these allegations against a men's sports team at NCCU? Or a Duke student? Or what if it was someone who wasn't a dancer at all reporting the assault? It should not make a difference, and yet it does for many.

So I ask you to consider the situation, but with a few minor details reversed. What if it was a white Chippendale making these allegations against the NCCU women's basketball team? Or an NCCU student? Or what if it was just Joe Schmoe? It should not make a difference but it does for some. Especially for that dumbass Nancy Grace.

I hope I will never be in the same situation she was, walking into a house, to perform for a group of men. And yet I can't stop thinking, what if that were me? What did that feel like? How will she feel safe again?

I hope I will never be in the same situation they were in, paying a lying hooker to dance at a party. And yet I can't stop thinking, what if that were me? What did that feel like? How will they be able to trust again?

This drama will play out amid a dark cloud of voices, some powerful, some righteous, all fighting one another.

This drama will play out amid a screeching gaggle of half-wits on Nancy Grace and The Lineup, some stupid, and some really stupid, all fighting one another.

Let us hope that a just light prevails.

Let us just hope that some people see the light.

[Dallas59]

She lied. Now she and others discredit African Americans with the "Race Angle".

[saganite]

Nice work.

[brivette]

Nicely done.

[Fintan]

Jesse Jackson's now involved. As far as I'm concerned, that makes the scam official.

[stm]

This whole situation does not pass the smell test. The woman was "passed out drunk" when the police arrived and there is no DNA evidence that can be tied back to the lacrosse players. Her situation may be tragic but our lives are the consequences of the sum of our decisions and it seems she has made several bad ones.

[Cicero]

Well, the biggest lie is, "something changed for me."

No, nothing changed for her. She was a radical feminist before the story broke, and she is a radical feminist now.

She just has new grist for her mill, and an opportunity to write a big article that might get her ahead in the newswriting business. Never mind that the whole story is a lie, as long as her ideology is correct, this story will advance her career.

That's all she cares about. Pushing her career by pushing feminism. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

[freedumb2003]

Eminently Bumpable!!!!!!!!

[speekinout]

I'm really angry at myself over this. We've had so many issues lately where people have gotten worked up into a hysterical frenzy because someone has made an accusation of shameful conduct. I have been very consistent in urging people to get some facts before they react emotionally.

But I bought this story. It made "sense" - an athletic team had a huge party where beer flowed readily, and they hired strippers. Alcohol and testosterone are a dangerous combination, so, sure, something happened.

And now we know some facts. I'm never going to jump on a bandwagon again, at least not until I know it's solid. I hope more people decide the same thing.

[SouthernFreebird]

I felt personally affected by the accusations alone. I don't know if all women feel as though something tears within them when they learn of that kind of assault -- an assault on something sacred.

So sacred she had it for rent...what a crock of spit. I'm more sick of the b!tches who falsely accuse men, they make it worse for real victims.

[saganite]

Here's something to think about. In every instance where I have been close enough to a story that received national news attention the press was wrong about the facts. I use that to judge what's reported when I see breaking news.

[When do we get liberated?]

The Rainbow Coalition announced they would pay the liar's way through college. Regardless of the outcome, even if she lied.

[When do we get liberated?]

Yeah, like maybe there is a reason for that whole "innocent until proven guilty" thing.

[saganite]

Here's another college athlete accused of rape. Wonder if this one is true?


http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1616181/posts

[appleharvey]

Jesse Jackson's now involved. As far as I'm concerned, that makes the scam official.

How right you are! Baron Von Munchausen has a better record for veracity than this snake oil salesman.

[JRochelle]

This whole Duke thing is just a yawn for me.

When it looked like maybe something had happened to her, I was like what did she expect? She's a stripper!!

Now it looks like nothing happened. And again I say, what did those guys expect? A woman with high morals? You tick off a stripper, she'll get her revenge.

[Cementjungle]

The Rainbow Coalition announced they would pay the liar's way through college. Regardless of the outcome, even if she lied.

Reward bad behaviour. That's the American way!

[Othniel]

Yeah, and Munchausen has a MUCH cooler moustache!

[PGalt]

Outstanding work! A belated welcome aboard! WOOOHOOO!

Reinforcements arrive daily.

Good people are connecting rapidly.

[crabapple joe]

But I bought this story. It made "sense" - an athletic team had a huge party where beer flowed readily, and they hired strippers. Alcohol and testosterone are a dangerous combination, so, sure, something happened.

Excuse me please, the correct term in this story is "exotic dancer". Please tell me you are joking about buying this story. If testosterone and beer make for a rape case I would strongly suggest you stay away from most (if not all) college campuses, lest you die of fright. White, upper middle class gang rape of black prostitutes does not occur with great frequency. But, then again, reality has already been suspended in this case.