[lfod1776]

Has the D.A. gotten a DNA sample from Duke President Brodhead? At this point he's as likely to be the perp as any member of the ill-fated lacrosse team.

[Enterprise]

I think they need to get DNA samples from every male she knows and every male in Durham. Let's not leave any male stones unturned. Everyone is a suspect, turn in your passports and don't leave town without telling the police.

[Enterprise]

"Oyez, oyez, oyez. By order of his most high and imperial doofus in Durham, North Carolina, all males in Durham are directed to report to the Police Department at 0800. At the command "Drop your socks and grab your ________ you shall provide DNA samples. This order is also inclusive of all males who have ever seen the young pure lady doing her stripping act, and to those who have ever even thought of watching her strip. So let it be written, so let it be done. Long live the Durham DA!"