Another offshoot of what's happening here, and one that is infinitely more destructive than the mere financial angle of punitive child support amounts, is this: Whole generations of boys and girls are left with highly negative role models and expectations of men and fathers. Fathers are minimized in their childrens' lives. The extent of their roles as fathers, of their authority as fathers, is at the mercy of the mothers (primary custodial parents in at least 80 percent of divorces) and the courts.
Dads are usually reduced to being able to be dads (visitation) ONLY four to eight days a month plus some holidays. If the dad wants to discipline an unruly and direspectful boy but the mom thinks dad's punishment is too harsh ... guess who the courts will back-up? I even remember a case where the court forced the dad to apologize to his son, in a case where the son clearly should have been the one doing the penance! What the hell kind of example does that set!!!???!!!
Dad is an empty suit, a paper tiger, a figure whose primary purpose is to provide money while mom is the one who has the real authority. Dads are emasculated.
No wonder so much popular music today is filled with ugly, disrepectful words to desribe women. No wonder the suicide rate of male teens is so high. No wonder young men are becoming anti-marriage. No wonder girls are so promiscuous that large numbers start having sex in their early teens -- they've never had the chance to develop a truly loving and deep relationship with their dads, and so seek that male affection in inappropriate ways. They grow up with horrifically unrealistic expectations of men, and boys grow up confused and beaten-down as to expectations society has of them as fathers and men.
You are so right when you say that marrige is the ginel most important civilizing influence that we have.
Dads are usually reduced to being able to be dads (visitation) ONLY four to eight days a month plus some holidays. If the dad wants to discipline an unruly and direspectful boy but the mom thinks dad's punishment is too harsh ... guess who the courts will back-up? I even remember a case where the court forced the dad to apologize to his son, in a case where the son clearly should have been the one doing the penance! What the hell kind of example does that set!!!???!!!
Dad is an empty suit, a paper tiger, a figure whose primary purpose is to provide money while mom is the one who has the real authority. Dads are emasculated.
No wonder so much popular music today is filled with ugly, disrepectful words to desribe women. No wonder the suicide rate of male teens is so high. No wonder young men are becoming anti-marriage. No wonder girls are so promiscuous that large numbers start having sex in their early teens -- they've never had the chance to develop a truly loving and deep relationship with their dads, and so seek that male affection in inappropriate ways. They grow up with horrifically unrealistic expectations of men, and boys grow up confused and beaten-down as to expectations society has of them as fathers and men.
Great post. All true.