From father to son: a letter to a mensch-in-training

Townhall.com ^ | 3 April 2006 | Jeff Jacoby

[serendipity_kate]

My beloved Caleb,

There was an awful story in the paper a few days ago.

"A 16-year-old Brighton High School student," it began, "has been charged with slashing a 14-year-old girl's face with a razor blade in a Dorchester park, leaving a gash that required more than 100 stitches to close." The story was on the front page of the metro section, along with a large photograph of the 14-year-old. Her face is now disfigured by an angry red scar stretching from her forehead to her lip. She said that she and some of her friends had been challenged to a fight by another group of girls, and had been told that if they didn't show up, the other girls would find them and beat them on the street.

I made a point of showing you that story so we could talk about it. I asked you to imagine what it must be like to attend the schools these girls go to, or to have to worry about the things that must constantly be on their minds. The story quoted the 14-year-old as saying she "believes girls in the city these days must assemble a cadre of friends at a young age to back them up or risk getting more seriously injured or even killed. And she fears being labeled a snitch for identifying the girl who slashed her face."

Such violence and intimidation are far removed from anything you've ever experienced, Caleb. But you are no longer too young to know that many other children are not so fortunate -- including some in your own backyard...

[serendipity_kate]

How refreshing to see a genuine, loving father share his concern for his son. I like the idea of writing a series of letters to a child so that one day the child can read them and grow to understand their family and their own past better. I'm saving this idea in my mind for my own children.

[SouthernBoyupNorth]

There are so few people who take the time to be interested in their children now days.... This is refreshing... if only more people would follow suit.

[MSSC6644]

Great essay. The fact that it is "refreshing" is so sad. Jacoby writes of the basic responsibility of parenting, something each and every parent should be doing, every day. It is their duty to their children, to their society, to themeselves, to their God.

[NaughtiusMaximus]

I'm going to paraphrase a story Ben Stein told.

After he had become wealthy and successful, Ben bought a new house in a very upscale neighborhood. He proudly showed his immigrant, small businessman father a picture of the house and said "I can pay off the mortgage on this house tomorrow and still not be anywhere near the neighborhood of poverty."

His dad nodded and said, "Good. Because that's a neighborhood you never want to be anywhere near to."

The neighborhood of poverty is where they slash one another with razorblades for no apparent reason. Skills, training and abilities are the keys which every child needs to keep him or her out of the neighborhood of poverty. Public schools don't provide them much anymore.

[serendipity_kate]

You are absolutely right. We shouldn't have to think this is so commendable; it should be normal.

[serendipity_kate]

Couldn't have said it better myself.

[Dead Dog]

I agree, but at 9, the will need to learn how when and where to fight