"Then some years later their marriage goes belly up or they burn out, and wonder why their life isn't what they ordered when they finished their M.Div's."
Actually, many marriages don't survive the M.Div process. We had 3 file for divorce IN ONE CHRISTMAS BREAK in a student body of 300. Two of them were Dean's List students. One more month of seminary and I'd have lost my marriage (we were talking about divorce).
Pastors confuse lots of things.
First of all, one is CALLED, not ADDICTED. There is a difference.
Second, it is NOT health to have no bounderies between ones professional life and ones personal life. This situation is aggrivated beyond belief when one lives in a parsonage / manse. When I left the ranks of clergy it was a relief to rent my own place, even if it was subsidized housing.
Third, there is a difference between your JOB and your relationship with God. NEVER forget that. Pastors seem to believe that failure as a pastor (or leaving the profession) is a failure in their relationship with God, possibly causing them to be damned (talk about works righteousness!!!)
Strangely, after I stopped being clergy, I stopped getting passes from women. I went literally 10 years after leaving the ministry until I got my next pass. When I was a pastor I got them weekly.
Interesting life you've lead!
My dearest childhood friend was my Pastor's daughter. She said the great thing about her dad was he was in his early 40's when he got the call and became a pastor. His kids were into their teens and family life was established before he became clergy. It was hardest on her being youngest and a girl, but they made do.
I always admired them as a family - a great example of how a clergy's family "should" be. Good old Ernie is in his mid-nineties now and senile - but still a great man.
Pastors don't talk... makes you a larger target. Discression is a big component.. that and forbidden fruit.